Fitting It All In: Reading and Time Management

Evenings are hectic around here, as I imagine they are in most homes.

We usually have only 1-2 hours, sometimes less, between the Slovak getting home from work and bedtime, and in that time we have to cook dinner, eat dinner, read a chapter book, do a reading lesson, and do the bedtime routine (story and songs).

Cooking dinner earlier doesn't really work for me most days, nor does doing the reading lesson. The 18-month-old really requires adult supervision, so getting anything done when the Slovak isn't home comes at a cost of, for instance, pulling everything out of the kitchen cabinets, rummaging in the trash for a snack, coloring on the refrigerator or climbing to unacceptable places on the furniture, to name a few favorites. K also finds it understandably hard to concentrate on a lesson when M is in the same room.

So we have to fit it all in to the after work - before bedtime window. Most nights this means leaving something out - sometimes we have leftovers so we don't lose time cooking, but it is still a stretch to fit everything in without being too rushed. Most of the time it ends up as a choice between doing a lesson or reading a chapter.

I would like to finish the lessons, but when I weigh the long-term benefits of learn-to-read lessons and reading together as a family, I think reading together wins out. So we've dialed back on the reading lessons a bit. We do a couple a week and we split them in half unless we have a lot of time to spare, and that is working well for now.

If we had continued doing a lesson every single night without fail we would be done with the book already; as it is we are around 2/3 to 3/4 done (or so). The important thing, though, is that we have already achieved our goal in doing the lessons in the first place: K's reading anxiety is essentially gone. Maybe entirely gone.

K finds the readings challenging but manageable and she enjoys counting the lines of each story to see how long it is. Last time I showed her the beginning of the book, where you read two letters together and the first story is three words long, and compared it to the 17-line story she read that day. She loved seeing how much progress she has made already.

She is also motivated to read books, signs and things we see around the house or around town. She likes to practice writing on paper or on a computer, usually self-directed and involving creative spelling. Occasionally I am allowed to suggest something she might try writing.

With this positive attitude I am comfortable pulling back on the formal lessons and we can finish slowly. I imagine that in the long run memories of reading together will be more valuable and contribute more to literacy for both children.

We finished Farmer Boy over the weekend and I asked what we should read next: the next Little House book or mix it up with something else? Both K and Apo put in immediate and enthusiastic votes for LITTLE HOUSE!! So we are working our way through Little House on the Prairie.

I hope we can make our evening readings such a habit that we continue them for years, even when the little ones are old enough to read for themselves. I think it's good for all of us.

What Multilingualism Really Looks Like

We have a system. To successfully pass on your languages it is really best to have a system, and our system works.

But it's also important to be flexible, okay, and that is how I'm explaining how we found ourselves in the following situation this week:

Apo reading a book in English to K on one couch while I read a book in Slovak to M on the other.

That's what multilingualism looks like in our house!

***

Apo and I also spontaneously forgot how to speak our own languages while out on a walk last week: I spoke to K in Czech and claimed to know no English while Apo insisted he actually ONLY spoke English. Gave K a big fit of the giggles.

***

This week K picked up a book and started reading. She read several words / a sentence or two out of a couple of books, including from one Czech book. That was a little more challenging as I have been focusing on English only, so she didn't know how to sound out all the words - but she managed it. I told her that reading Czech is actually pretty easy compared to reading English, because each letter has only one sound.

Then I suggested that she find a Dr. Seuss book, as that might be easier to read. She got One Fish, Two Fish and read about 10 pages before I asked if she wanted to stop and finish later. "No!" she said, "I want to read it all! And then all of M's books and my books!"

Dr. Seuss is challenging but not impossible for her, since we have not had all the letter combinations and such from our 100 Lessons book. It is supposed to finish at about a 1st grade level, so I had planned to read Dr. Seuss after finishing the lesson book, but K had other ideas it seems.

Later that day she told me, "I can't believe I read that book on my own!!"

She has also started picking words to read out of chapter books (or my Kindle), such as HARRY POTTER or FARMER BOY (titles at the top of each page) from the books we were reading together, or finding some of the words she recognizes from her lessons. I think it is exciting for her to see that what she is learning in her lessons can be applied in the real world.

Then yesterday I read a Charlie and Lola book to K and M, the one where Lola is scared about starting school. After we finished, I said,

"Lola was nervous about going to school, wasn't she? Do you remember when you were nervous about starting big kid school?"
"Yeah, I was scared about it."
"Are you still scared about it or do you think it's going to be ok?"
"I think it's going to be ok now."
"Because you thought you couldn't learn to read. But you caaaaan!"
(self-satisfied nod and grin)

And THAT is why I'm teaching the child to read.

Picture Identification, Blueberries and Nursery Rhymes

Recently my daughter was practicing writing lowercase letters, each with a picture showing the sound the letter makes. She got to W, which had a stone wall. "Wock," she said confidently.

I couldn't say R at her age, either. She actually can say it now, but doesn't always remember which words it is in. It reminds me of the time my six-year-old sister gave me a hand-written note that said, "Have a nice twip."

***

Also while practicing writing, K identified the V picture as,

"Vesta. Why is this in Czech and not English?"
"It's a vest."
"Yes, but what is it in English?"
"In English it's a vest. In Czech it's a vesta."

K still looked at me as if to ask, "Are you sure??"

***

A new favorite nursery rhyme for both my children is "Káže Katke prísna mať" - Katka because she feels is it autobiographical (no comment) and Marek because of the "Ty ty ty, ty ty ty" part. He can find the book and page it is on and bring it to me, waving his finger back and forth and saying "ty ty ty!" until I read it.

He is a boy of few words, but he loves his books.

***

Also the lack of posts this week is brought to you by a particularly profitable work week for me. And gumbo. I made gumbo in the several hours on Monday between turning in finished translations and accepting new ones. It was delicious. Then I took yesterday off except for turning in and accepting a new one. But other than that, a busy March so far.

Oh, there were also blueberry muffins on Monday. We had a tense moment when K froze with her first bite half-way to her mouth, demanding to know if the muffins were made with FRESH OR FROZEN blueberries. I really thought she was going to refuse to eat my from-scratch muffins because the ingredients were not sufficiently organic and grown from a balcony garden, but it turned out she just wanted to know if frozen berries put into non-frozen dough would cook the same in the oven. Good save.

Reading Aloud and Reinforcing the Community Language

My five-year-old just finished 'reading' the one-year-old a book, in almost the exact words as it's written.

When I was her age it was Ernie and Bert's "I Can Do It Myself" (a.k.a. my personal motto at the time). For K, it's O Perníkové chaloupce, about Hansel and Gretel.

We bought the book for M's birthday, but it caught K's imagination somehow, and she loves me to read it to her and M both. She even insisted for a while that I pause in between sentences so she could repeat them after me.

I think it's good for her Czech, because most of the Czech children's books out there are either very simplistic (for babies, one or two words per picture) or else quite complex (for elementary age, lots of text, high vocabulary level and not many pictures). This is one of the few I've found that is in the middle, so it is accessible but still stretches K in terms of vocabulary and sentence structure.

For instance, she's asked me before about the sentences "Děti vzaly nohy na ramena" (an unfamiliar idiom) and "Tatínek hořce rozplakal" (crying 'bitterly'), and she 'read' them to M today. I also heard her use several other complex sentences or phrases from the book while reading - a level of language that, even when she interacts with the Slovak or me in CZ/SK, we just don't use in everyday conversation.

I know we need to read to her more in Czech, but as I've mentioned before, it's just hard to find suitable material. The other day the Slovak decided he wants to get in on the chapter book reading with a book in Czech (rather than Slovak, to help with Czech vocabulary). He decided on The Jungle Book (Kipling), because it was one of his favorites as a boy. I expect we'll give it a try someday soon.

For now, I'm just enjoying listening to my big girl reading to my little boy, neither one stopping to think that they're both learning something while doing it.

Playdates and Extroverts

K had a playdate with a friend from school this week. We've been planning it for several weeks, waiting for everyone to be in town and healthy, so when it finally came she was thrilled. She went home from school with the friend and her mom, and I came over after about two hours to have coffee and let the little boys play (we both have an older girl and younger boy).

It's been so miserable outside that we haven't even been able to go to the park or for longer walks since last fall, so I'm glad K had the opportunity to spend the afternoon with a friend. We have toys and things to do at home, but for such a people-oriented child as K, that just isn't enough. I know it can't be easy being the lone extrovert in a family of introverts (I even think M might lean more toward introversion when he gets older, but we'll see).

I'm sure it can't be as exhausting as it is being the introvert parent of an extrovert child who just - can't - understand why anyone would want to be alone with their own thoughts, though. :)

Anyway, I'm pleased the girls had fun, because I like this mom and talk to her a few times a week. She lives on our route home so we often walk home together and talk while the girls play together like maniacs as if they hadn't just spent all morning together at school.

I still need to make arrangements to meet with Russian Friend, K's best friend since she started at this school two years ago, when neither one of them spoke Czech. Her mother is also very nice.

***

In reading news, K is still getting more confident and less frustrated as we go along. She has started spontaneously trying to read signs or words in books. Over the weekend we went to Starbucks and she read "coffee", "bus", "tram", "push" and "tam" (the last two on a door). It is kind of hard to find English (or short Czech) words in public, but there are some. One afternoon this week she spontaneously read "Angry Duck" (on Happy Hippo book) and tried to read a children's encyclopedia (managed a few words, but the reading level was too high otherwise).

I think this is important because she is starting to see that reading is both useful and possible, and most of all it is her own initiative. She is very motivated to do her lessons, of course, but that is still guided by me. I love that she is starting to see the benefit on her own by finding "real" things to read. She is determined to learn among other reasons because she plans to teach M to read next. After he learns to talk.

Languages: Fun or Normal?

My daughter seems to enjoy this show we see on TV sometimes called "Say It With Noddy" (I think - it's dubbed into Czech). Each short episode introduces one English phrase that is repeated several times. I'm not sure why K likes it, frankly, unless she gets a kick out of already knowing all the phrases they teach.

It always ends with the phrase "Ta angličtina je legrace!" (English is fun!)

This week K took exception to that statement:

K (sounding kind of offended): Hey, English isn't fun, is it?
Me: (going along with her) Um, no. So English isn't fun?
K: No, it's just normal.
Me: I see. And is Czech fun?
K: No, it's just normal, too.

And you know, for her - for us - that's true. English and Czech aren't something fun or unusual. They're NORMAL.

That's kind of great, if you think about it.

***

Also, today I settled something for the children by doing "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe", which I haven't said in at least twenty years. I realized as I said it that K has never heard it before. She did, however, know all the words to "En ten tyky", the Czech equivalent. Her English is still dominant, but I guess you can tell what language she hangs out with other kids in.

She hesitated before saying the last line, telling me they weren't supposed to say that. I asked why, and she said it had the word *whisper* kakat (poop) - and immediately clamped her hand over her mouth with her eyes open wide.

I was very careful not to laugh.

***

We've now been doing our reading lessons for just over a month (tonight was #32). We had a brief backslide in week two or three where K was battling nerves again, but we worked through it - I think she might believe me now that really, nothing bad will happen if she doesn't know the right answer, no seriously - and she is progressing right on schedule.

We love the fact that each lesson (after the first two weeks) has a story with it. They started out as just two or three words each, but there was a story and a picture and that is SO EXCITING for K. Currently she's reading stories of three to four sentences of several words each. It's such a dramatic improvement that I think she's finally starting to believe that she can learn to read after all. (That has been the problem: she was irrationally convinced that she would never learn to read and all the other kids would be smarter than her. Definitely not true.)

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Have a good weekend! I started this post when it was still Friday but it appears to be Saturday already...

When Reading Becomes a Mind Game

I always thought I would want my children to be early readers. I remember being 8 and coaching my 2-year-old sister on her letter sounds, or 10 and making up worksheets for her to practice writing at 4. I think it improved my handwriting but didn't have much effect on her.

Then I grew up and had children. I started reading and thinking about early childhood development and education, and changed my mind. I decided to neither deny nor force learning on my child, teaching her what she asked, when she asked. In Europe (at least our part) preschool and kindergarten are about play-based learning with no pressure to learn to read before first grade (fall 2014 for us), so we haven't had any outside pressure to step up the academics.

Then K asked me to teach her to write when she was less than 2. So we started a very slow introduction into formal learning, mainly using things like Kumon workbooks. They're great for the very young child who wants to 'do school'.

We eventually got to the point where K knows most/all of her letters and can write simple words by sounding them out, but she couldn't read by sounding out (or by word recognition). I wondered if she had some kind of block or if she just wasn't developmentally ready for it yet.

Then she started developing this kind of love-hate relationship with learning and reading in particular. She would passionately insist that I teach her something, wanting to keep going and going instead of just doing a short session, and then she would turn on a dime and say she hated learning and never wanted to go to big kid school, ever, not even a little bit. Often this happened when she made a mistake, even the tiniest mistake.

She went from yearning to go to big kid school (first grade) to regularly saying that she is afraid of big kid school and doesn't ever want to go. She wants to stay in preschool until she grows up and enter the workforce straight from there.

She finds it difficult to articulate why she is afraid of big kid school, but the main factors seem to be that she will not be able to learn to read, the other children will know more than her, she doesn't want to make new friends and she doesn't want to sit down at a desk and not play.

I believe other complicating factors are a strain of perfectionism, high expectations of herself and a tendency to be easily discouraged. Not to point fingers, but the Slovak has also been known to make dramatic NEVER statements when frustrated. And, of course, high expectations and emotional intensity also describes me as a child, though according to my mother I didn't really lose my temper, I just wouldn't give up until I mastered whatever I was trying.

I first decided to slow down the 'reading lessons' (occasionally we would sit down and practice writing or reading some simple words) and focus on me reading to her instead, since she seemed to be getting more and more anxious, but that didn't work. It still came up at odd times and she would break down during the day or at bedtime, saying she would never learn to read and didn't want to go to school.

Then it occurred to me that maybe by not teaching her to read properly I was just dragging things out and contributing to her anxiety, allowing her to build it up in her mind as this impossible, terrifying thing. Maybe instead of backing off I should just TEACH HER TO READ now so that she would see she can do it and stop being afraid.

That's my current theory.

I had already ordered Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and brought it back with us, because several people, including Perogyo, recommended it specifically.

When we got home from our trip I decided to make time every day (with a jealous 15-month-old and as little as a one-hour window between Apo coming home and bedtime, this is an issue), buckle down and go through the book one lesson per day.

The first day K breezed through Lesson 1 with no difficulty and wanted to do the next lesson right away (as usual). I said no, let's keep it short and just do one per day. She lost it. She went in a heartbeat from 'please can we do more, it's all I've ever wanted' to 'fine, I won't do any more lessons ever, I don't want to learn to read, I don't want to go to big kid school, I don't like words, I only like dressing up and playing and I do like writing because that's different, but not reading...'

It was not a very coherent rant but I did like the part about not liking words. I talked her down from the ledge and she cheerfully drew a few pictures before putting the book and paper away. The next day she skipped in from being outside and asked if we can do our lesson now please.

Yesterday we did Lesson 11 and I have to say - it works! I can see the logic in the way things are presented and within two or three lessons, when you start actually sounding out two to three letter words, K could do it. She had a couple of specific difficulties with the concept of sounding out and the book addresses these straight away (probably common problems then). She still gets frustrated sometimes but not as badly and she is very encouraged by her success when she reads words on her own.

I hope to report in three months' time that we have finished the book and K is reading with confidence!