Earlier this week at park: "Mommy, that's my new friend Nemonika (not-Monika)."
"Monika?"
"No, Nemonika."
"I just heard her mom call her Domi, so I'm pretty sure it's Dominika."
Today at park: "I have to go, Mommy, I see my friend Demonika."
"Demon" means the same in Czech as it does in English, FYI.
***
(after K let M do something he normally isn't allowed)
"He really wanted to, and I wanted to make him happy. I like making small people happy. Do YOU like making small people happy, Mommy?"
Something about her tone in that last sentence made me feel kind of guilty...though as it turned out it wasn't a trick question.
***
The Slovak has had some late meetings this week, making him get home late three days in a row. Yesterday she told me, "Mommy, I'm sorry. You're probably going to miss me, but you'll have to come get me late from school tomorrow, after druhá sváča (afternoon snack, about 3 pm). I have a lot of work and meetings to go to. Kid meetings."
***
K knows all the words to (the chorus of) "Do You Hear the People Sing?" in English and is learning it in Czech and French (we have a lot of soundtracks). She also knows almost the whole "Confrontation" song because the Slovak likes to burst out singing it at random. I know Rach will appreciate this.
K can also belt out all the words to "Mně se líbí". I have never been prouder as a parent.
***
It has also come to my attention that K is introducing her friends to French historical fiction. Recently she told me she and two friends were playing "Valjean and Javert" and K's friend had to be the policeman and chase her. I asked in surprise if her friends knew the story, and she answered, "No, but I told it to them."
Wait, NOW I've never been prouder as a parent.
Showing posts with label all about us. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all about us. Show all posts
Friday, June 14, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Cultural Competence and Belonging
Yesterday my daughter handed me a book of Czech nursery rhymes and asked me to read. Some of them are actually song lyrics; in fact maybe all of them are songs and some I just haven't heard before.
When I was finished reading one particular poem, the Slovak burst into song (because the poem was apparently a song I haven't heard before). Almost immediately K joined in, because she knew the song from preschool. It is hard to explain, but I had this moment of complete dissonance looking at them, realizing that they share a culture that I don't.
It makes me proud (that my girl knows her father's culture, knows lots of songs, can carry a tune...), but also makes me feel a little left out! It occurs to me that this must be how people feel when they don't speak the language of their spouse or one of their children's languages. I can't imagine feeling like this all the time...
Guess I need to brush up on my lidovky [folk songs]. :)
When I was finished reading one particular poem, the Slovak burst into song (because the poem was apparently a song I haven't heard before). Almost immediately K joined in, because she knew the song from preschool. It is hard to explain, but I had this moment of complete dissonance looking at them, realizing that they share a culture that I don't.
It makes me proud (that my girl knows her father's culture, knows lots of songs, can carry a tune...), but also makes me feel a little left out! It occurs to me that this must be how people feel when they don't speak the language of their spouse or one of their children's languages. I can't imagine feeling like this all the time...
Guess I need to brush up on my lidovky [folk songs]. :)
Friday, March 15, 2013
What Multilingualism Really Looks Like
We have a system. To successfully pass on your languages it is really best to have a system, and our system works.
But it's also important to be flexible, okay, and that is how I'm explaining how we found ourselves in the following situation this week:
Apo reading a book in English to K on one couch while I read a book in Slovak to M on the other.
That's what multilingualism looks like in our house!
***
Apo and I also spontaneously forgot how to speak our own languages while out on a walk last week: I spoke to K in Czech and claimed to know no English while Apo insisted he actually ONLY spoke English. Gave K a big fit of the giggles.
***
This week K picked up a book and started reading. She read several words / a sentence or two out of a couple of books, including from one Czech book. That was a little more challenging as I have been focusing on English only, so she didn't know how to sound out all the words - but she managed it. I told her that reading Czech is actually pretty easy compared to reading English, because each letter has only one sound.
Then I suggested that she find a Dr. Seuss book, as that might be easier to read. She got One Fish, Two Fish and read about 10 pages before I asked if she wanted to stop and finish later. "No!" she said, "I want to read it all! And then all of M's books and my books!"
Dr. Seuss is challenging but not impossible for her, since we have not had all the letter combinations and such from our 100 Lessons book. It is supposed to finish at about a 1st grade level, so I had planned to read Dr. Seuss after finishing the lesson book, but K had other ideas it seems.
Later that day she told me, "I can't believe I read that book on my own!!"
She has also started picking words to read out of chapter books (or my Kindle), such as HARRY POTTER or FARMER BOY (titles at the top of each page) from the books we were reading together, or finding some of the words she recognizes from her lessons. I think it is exciting for her to see that what she is learning in her lessons can be applied in the real world.
Then yesterday I read a Charlie and Lola book to K and M, the one where Lola is scared about starting school. After we finished, I said,
"Lola was nervous about going to school, wasn't she? Do you remember when you were nervous about starting big kid school?"
"Yeah, I was scared about it."
"Are you still scared about it or do you think it's going to be ok?"
"I think it's going to be ok now."
"Because you thought you couldn't learn to read. But you caaaaan!"
(self-satisfied nod and grin)
And THAT is why I'm teaching the child to read.
But it's also important to be flexible, okay, and that is how I'm explaining how we found ourselves in the following situation this week:
Apo reading a book in English to K on one couch while I read a book in Slovak to M on the other.
That's what multilingualism looks like in our house!
***
Apo and I also spontaneously forgot how to speak our own languages while out on a walk last week: I spoke to K in Czech and claimed to know no English while Apo insisted he actually ONLY spoke English. Gave K a big fit of the giggles.
***
This week K picked up a book and started reading. She read several words / a sentence or two out of a couple of books, including from one Czech book. That was a little more challenging as I have been focusing on English only, so she didn't know how to sound out all the words - but she managed it. I told her that reading Czech is actually pretty easy compared to reading English, because each letter has only one sound.
Then I suggested that she find a Dr. Seuss book, as that might be easier to read. She got One Fish, Two Fish and read about 10 pages before I asked if she wanted to stop and finish later. "No!" she said, "I want to read it all! And then all of M's books and my books!"
Dr. Seuss is challenging but not impossible for her, since we have not had all the letter combinations and such from our 100 Lessons book. It is supposed to finish at about a 1st grade level, so I had planned to read Dr. Seuss after finishing the lesson book, but K had other ideas it seems.
Later that day she told me, "I can't believe I read that book on my own!!"
She has also started picking words to read out of chapter books (or my Kindle), such as HARRY POTTER or FARMER BOY (titles at the top of each page) from the books we were reading together, or finding some of the words she recognizes from her lessons. I think it is exciting for her to see that what she is learning in her lessons can be applied in the real world.
Then yesterday I read a Charlie and Lola book to K and M, the one where Lola is scared about starting school. After we finished, I said,
"Lola was nervous about going to school, wasn't she? Do you remember when you were nervous about starting big kid school?"
"Yeah, I was scared about it."
"Are you still scared about it or do you think it's going to be ok?"
"I think it's going to be ok now."
"Because you thought you couldn't learn to read. But you caaaaan!"
(self-satisfied nod and grin)
And THAT is why I'm teaching the child to read.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Bring Your Favorite Book to School
K went back to school today after almost a week off sick. After the absolute disaster that was the entire month of December, you may imagine the kind of fear a single cough inspires in the Slovak and me now. (It always starts with a single cough.)
M did come down with K's cold but by some miracle did not immediately progress to severe bronchitis, even though his cough is pretty ugly. So all in all it could be worse.
The little ones were surprisingly sweet during their enforced week at home, though as always M can never sleep when his sister is around. So he's been napless and cutting a new molar is hardly helping.
Well, to be honest there was one day when they acted so much like wild animals I thought they might eat each other, but otherwise they were sweet.
January was book month at school, so today K brought her favorite book to school to share. Picking a "favorite" book to share with her classmates was kind of a loaded question, since we had to balance books she is actually excited about with books the other children will understand (most of our favorites are in English).
She really wanted to take either Harry Potter or Little House - definitely a chapter book, she said - but when I suggested one of her Czech books, she went with O perníkové chaloupce (Hansel and Gretel). She actually loves that book so much she tries to memorize the exact wording and sometimes repeats each sentence after me as I read.
It would have been fun for her to share some of the chapter books she is reading, but I'm not sure how accessible Laura Ingalls or Harry Potter (in English) would be for the other children, and K certainly wouldn't have the vocabulary to explain it in Czech, since we read them in English.
Because as it turns out, "Gryffindor" isn't "Gryffindor" in Czech :) (I've read the first few books in Czech, but K hasn't.)
Anyway...all of that is to say...YAAAAAY back in school. A week off in summer when we can go places would be more fun, I have to say.
And I don't think it was a coincidence that K went back to school today and M took a three hour nap.
M did come down with K's cold but by some miracle did not immediately progress to severe bronchitis, even though his cough is pretty ugly. So all in all it could be worse.
The little ones were surprisingly sweet during their enforced week at home, though as always M can never sleep when his sister is around. So he's been napless and cutting a new molar is hardly helping.
Well, to be honest there was one day when they acted so much like wild animals I thought they might eat each other, but otherwise they were sweet.
January was book month at school, so today K brought her favorite book to school to share. Picking a "favorite" book to share with her classmates was kind of a loaded question, since we had to balance books she is actually excited about with books the other children will understand (most of our favorites are in English).
She really wanted to take either Harry Potter or Little House - definitely a chapter book, she said - but when I suggested one of her Czech books, she went with O perníkové chaloupce (Hansel and Gretel). She actually loves that book so much she tries to memorize the exact wording and sometimes repeats each sentence after me as I read.
It would have been fun for her to share some of the chapter books she is reading, but I'm not sure how accessible Laura Ingalls or Harry Potter (in English) would be for the other children, and K certainly wouldn't have the vocabulary to explain it in Czech, since we read them in English.
Because as it turns out, "Gryffindor" isn't "Gryffindor" in Czech :) (I've read the first few books in Czech, but K hasn't.)
Anyway...all of that is to say...YAAAAAY back in school. A week off in summer when we can go places would be more fun, I have to say.
And I don't think it was a coincidence that K went back to school today and M took a three hour nap.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Christmas in the Home Country
Okay, we've been back from our trip long enough that it's starting to seem long ago and I can't quite remember what I wanted to write about. It's ridiculous.
The main thing is that we spent two weeks with my family and there were plenty of opportunities for bonding with grandparents and cousins. We got there December 27 and the very next day I helped mastermind a full family Christmas from which my husband (an only child) is probably still recovering. All my brothers and sisters and their children were there - there are five of us and three of us have two children each. It was crowded. And kind of overwhelming for two introverts like the Slovak and me.
The next day we went to a Christmas celebration for the other side of the family, where my aunts were playing the mastermind role and I didn't feel even a little bit bad about not helping coordinate logistics. I had just done that the day before! I sat back and chatted with one of my sisters. And a cousin who it turns out is into Doctor Who. We may have more in common than I thought.
But in all of that my five year old had a blast playing with her cousins - she has several her age, two other girls within six months of her. Their lives are very different from hers, but they enjoyed playing together. I overheard the following conversation more than once during our trip:
"What's your brother's name?"
"I can't tell you, because it's in Czech and you won't understand."
"What's Czech?"
"His name is MAREK. Do you understand?"
"Katka" didn't seem to strike her as a Czech name. She expected everyone to understand that one.
I remember last year K asked that same cousin if she spoke Czech or Slovak as well as English. The girl had understandably never heard of "Czech" or "Slovak", but also didn't really know what "English" is. Like I mentioned...our lives are very different.
A young cousin on the other side heard my husband speaking to one of the children and started making gibberish noises at him. The Slovak was less than impressed.
This was our first time doing Christmas (even if a bit late) in America, and my first Christmas there in at least ten years, so it was a cultural experience for us all. We do American Christmas traditions at home, of course, but there's a difference between doing something yourself and seeing EVERYBODY else doing it, too. The Slovak alternated between fascinated and repelled at the whole spectacle, I think. He thinks mall Santas are really weird, for instance, and didn't want our kids to go to one. Lucky for him I'm such an accommodating wife... I think he liked the Christmas lights, on the whole, but some people really do go overboard.
I would ask him for his impressions, but 1) he isn't home yet and 2) I'm pretty sure it would boil down to "You people are weird."
I'm still glad we went. I'd like to go again...one day. In several years. I'm glad to give the children an opportunity to experience both sides of their heritage, but that was enough for now. :)
Oh! While we were there we managed to leave the children with my mother for a few hours and went to see Les Miserables. It was our first movie in a theater possibly since M was born? We went to see Brave, but not together. It was also our first non-dubbed, non-subtitled movie (other than DVDs) in many, many years. The Slovak and I both love musicals and we got to go with my sister who also loves musicals, so we weren't alone in being ridiculously excited.
We listened to the soundtrack in the car over the next week or so, and it caught K's attention. She insisted on being told, in detail, the stories of each person singing - mainly the little girl Cosette and the Valjean-Javert dynamic. She is still working on memorizing Castle on a Cloud and, amusingly, the confrontation scene between the two men.
I think I mentioned before that we got several chapter books for K - we already finished the first two Magic Treehouse books and are clearly going to need more, and yesterday we started Farmer Boy (Little House series #2). We're still reading Harry Potter, so we'll alternate for a while.
We also picked up a few seasons of TV on DVD while visiting, so we're enjoying some good shows at the moment. Better than endless episodes of Panelák...even if that does happen to be what we have on at the moment. ;)
...and that was our latest visit to America. With two family Christmases there and our own Christmas at home with Babka and Dedo, our children didn't know what hit them! 2012: the year that Christmas just kept on coming.
The main thing is that we spent two weeks with my family and there were plenty of opportunities for bonding with grandparents and cousins. We got there December 27 and the very next day I helped mastermind a full family Christmas from which my husband (an only child) is probably still recovering. All my brothers and sisters and their children were there - there are five of us and three of us have two children each. It was crowded. And kind of overwhelming for two introverts like the Slovak and me.
The next day we went to a Christmas celebration for the other side of the family, where my aunts were playing the mastermind role and I didn't feel even a little bit bad about not helping coordinate logistics. I had just done that the day before! I sat back and chatted with one of my sisters. And a cousin who it turns out is into Doctor Who. We may have more in common than I thought.
But in all of that my five year old had a blast playing with her cousins - she has several her age, two other girls within six months of her. Their lives are very different from hers, but they enjoyed playing together. I overheard the following conversation more than once during our trip:
"What's your brother's name?"
"I can't tell you, because it's in Czech and you won't understand."
"What's Czech?"
"His name is MAREK. Do you understand?"
"Katka" didn't seem to strike her as a Czech name. She expected everyone to understand that one.
I remember last year K asked that same cousin if she spoke Czech or Slovak as well as English. The girl had understandably never heard of "Czech" or "Slovak", but also didn't really know what "English" is. Like I mentioned...our lives are very different.
A young cousin on the other side heard my husband speaking to one of the children and started making gibberish noises at him. The Slovak was less than impressed.
This was our first time doing Christmas (even if a bit late) in America, and my first Christmas there in at least ten years, so it was a cultural experience for us all. We do American Christmas traditions at home, of course, but there's a difference between doing something yourself and seeing EVERYBODY else doing it, too. The Slovak alternated between fascinated and repelled at the whole spectacle, I think. He thinks mall Santas are really weird, for instance, and didn't want our kids to go to one. Lucky for him I'm such an accommodating wife... I think he liked the Christmas lights, on the whole, but some people really do go overboard.
I would ask him for his impressions, but 1) he isn't home yet and 2) I'm pretty sure it would boil down to "You people are weird."
I'm still glad we went. I'd like to go again...one day. In several years. I'm glad to give the children an opportunity to experience both sides of their heritage, but that was enough for now. :)
Oh! While we were there we managed to leave the children with my mother for a few hours and went to see Les Miserables. It was our first movie in a theater possibly since M was born? We went to see Brave, but not together. It was also our first non-dubbed, non-subtitled movie (other than DVDs) in many, many years. The Slovak and I both love musicals and we got to go with my sister who also loves musicals, so we weren't alone in being ridiculously excited.
We listened to the soundtrack in the car over the next week or so, and it caught K's attention. She insisted on being told, in detail, the stories of each person singing - mainly the little girl Cosette and the Valjean-Javert dynamic. She is still working on memorizing Castle on a Cloud and, amusingly, the confrontation scene between the two men.
I think I mentioned before that we got several chapter books for K - we already finished the first two Magic Treehouse books and are clearly going to need more, and yesterday we started Farmer Boy (Little House series #2). We're still reading Harry Potter, so we'll alternate for a while.
We also picked up a few seasons of TV on DVD while visiting, so we're enjoying some good shows at the moment. Better than endless episodes of Panelák...even if that does happen to be what we have on at the moment. ;)
...and that was our latest visit to America. With two family Christmases there and our own Christmas at home with Babka and Dedo, our children didn't know what hit them! 2012: the year that Christmas just kept on coming.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Five-Year-Olds and Magic
Like a lot of children her age, my daughter is fascinated with magic. She is always trying new things to find her magical talent.
The magical talent she talks about most often - consistently for a few months now - is "making things stop turning". She pushes a ball (spins a top, sets anything in motion), does a magical finger motion and waits for it to stop.
Someday she's going to take a physics class, learn about inertia and come to a sad awakening. For now, though, she is convinced there is a causal relationship between her magic and the laws of physics. She has an answer for everything - it's pretty funny.
(Sometimes I feel like little children are constantly looking for magical connections between themselves and things happening around them. When you don't understand how things work, it's not such a far-fetched idea that stomping your foot might make a clap of thunder. "Hey, I blinked just now and the light went off! I KNEW IT! Okay, let's try again..." K is almost old enough to know better, but she's still looking for the superpower she knows must be there somewhere.)
Today she did some magic on my hands:
“(does magic trick) Look! Now you have new fingers!”
“These are the same fingers I had before.”
“You THINK they are, but they’re really not.”
She is at this great age where she knows that some things are pretend and yet she still kind of believes them anyway. We often have discussions about which one of us is more magical. I say she learned all her magic from me, she says she taught herself. Classic generational argument. :)
A while back she told me,
"You're not magic like me. You can't do this." (magical hand gesture)
"I am, look." (magical hand gesture)
"But there wasn't any magic there."
"There was, but you couldn't see it, because only magical people can see my magic."
(instantly) "I can see it! It's purple! And mine is pink."
So I see that the emperor's new clothes principle works perfectly even in today's world. And K and I are both, perhaps, magical.
The magical talent she talks about most often - consistently for a few months now - is "making things stop turning". She pushes a ball (spins a top, sets anything in motion), does a magical finger motion and waits for it to stop.
Someday she's going to take a physics class, learn about inertia and come to a sad awakening. For now, though, she is convinced there is a causal relationship between her magic and the laws of physics. She has an answer for everything - it's pretty funny.
(Sometimes I feel like little children are constantly looking for magical connections between themselves and things happening around them. When you don't understand how things work, it's not such a far-fetched idea that stomping your foot might make a clap of thunder. "Hey, I blinked just now and the light went off! I KNEW IT! Okay, let's try again..." K is almost old enough to know better, but she's still looking for the superpower she knows must be there somewhere.)
Today she did some magic on my hands:
“(does magic trick) Look! Now you have new fingers!”
“These are the same fingers I had before.”
“You THINK they are, but they’re really not.”
She is at this great age where she knows that some things are pretend and yet she still kind of believes them anyway. We often have discussions about which one of us is more magical. I say she learned all her magic from me, she says she taught herself. Classic generational argument. :)
A while back she told me,
"You're not magic like me. You can't do this." (magical hand gesture)
"I am, look." (magical hand gesture)
"But there wasn't any magic there."
"There was, but you couldn't see it, because only magical people can see my magic."
(instantly) "I can see it! It's purple! And mine is pink."
So I see that the emperor's new clothes principle works perfectly even in today's world. And K and I are both, perhaps, magical.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Multilingual Birthday Party
This weekend we celebrated K's fifth birthday with her first party with friends. We have considered it before, but this was the first time we really did it.
We invited three friends from school to come to our house on Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours. I ordered a small cake from a bakery since one of the girls has a gluten-free diet and I don't have the things to bake gluten-free.
Other than eating cake and singing happy birthday the girls just played in K's room the whole time - and all thought it was the best party ever. Take that, big fancy parties. :) We spent about 350 kc (less than $20) on the cake and somewhat less than that on other snacks.
One of the moms left her daughter with us and came back at the end to pick her up, but the other two moms stayed. One stayed because her daughter wouldn't let her leave (she is a little younger than the others and doesn't speak Czech well) and I'm actually friends with the other.
It's a good thing the Slovak was here, too, because the first mom is Hungarian (we invited the little Hungarian girl) and speaks decent English but minimal Czech, and the second mom is Czech and speaks no Hungarian and an unknown amount (but not a lot) of English.
This meant there was a lot of me talking to the Czech mom in Czech while the Slovak talked to the Hungarian mom in Hungarian (he is a man of many talents). Then I would talk to the Hungarian mom for a bit in English or we would all have a simple English conversation. It was a challenge to balance things but I think we managed all right.
I actually originally invited K's Russian friend, who does now speak Czech just like K, but her parents don't speak it as well (they can make themselves understood but with a strong Russian accent and limited vocabulary). She had something already scheduled for that day so couldn't come, but the language situation would have been even more fun if she had.
K made welcome/thank you cards for her guests before the party. She was jittery and excited waiting for the girls to come, and I asked her if her tummy felt funny like there were butterflies flying around inside it. She said, "YES! There are! Real ones!" I told her that people often feel that way when they are excited and nervous about something.
She still managed to be a good hostess, though, despite her nerves. By the time the last guest left, they were having so much fun they kept begging for just five more minutes with the Legos. I asked her later which birthday gift she liked best, and she said they were all great.
The two Czech moms and I agreed (separately) to set up playdates in the near future. I've met one of them in the park and for ice cream and such during the summer but we may meet at one of our apartments over the winter. I haven't met with the other mom outside of school before but she is nice, we often chat at school, and the girls really hit it off recently. She said her daughter would like to invite K over to play one afternoon after school. Not bad for a language that (to my knowledge) doesn't have a word for "playdate". :)
So it seems the day was a success. This next Saturday is K's actual birthday, and we will have company from out of town to help us celebrate again. I'm planning to make a cake and we'll give her the rest of her presents (she got two small ones from us on the day of the party).
Assuming we don't convince her by then to skip her birthday and just stay four for another year. Four has been a good age.
We invited three friends from school to come to our house on Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours. I ordered a small cake from a bakery since one of the girls has a gluten-free diet and I don't have the things to bake gluten-free.
Other than eating cake and singing happy birthday the girls just played in K's room the whole time - and all thought it was the best party ever. Take that, big fancy parties. :) We spent about 350 kc (less than $20) on the cake and somewhat less than that on other snacks.
One of the moms left her daughter with us and came back at the end to pick her up, but the other two moms stayed. One stayed because her daughter wouldn't let her leave (she is a little younger than the others and doesn't speak Czech well) and I'm actually friends with the other.
It's a good thing the Slovak was here, too, because the first mom is Hungarian (we invited the little Hungarian girl) and speaks decent English but minimal Czech, and the second mom is Czech and speaks no Hungarian and an unknown amount (but not a lot) of English.
This meant there was a lot of me talking to the Czech mom in Czech while the Slovak talked to the Hungarian mom in Hungarian (he is a man of many talents). Then I would talk to the Hungarian mom for a bit in English or we would all have a simple English conversation. It was a challenge to balance things but I think we managed all right.
I actually originally invited K's Russian friend, who does now speak Czech just like K, but her parents don't speak it as well (they can make themselves understood but with a strong Russian accent and limited vocabulary). She had something already scheduled for that day so couldn't come, but the language situation would have been even more fun if she had.
K made welcome/thank you cards for her guests before the party. She was jittery and excited waiting for the girls to come, and I asked her if her tummy felt funny like there were butterflies flying around inside it. She said, "YES! There are! Real ones!" I told her that people often feel that way when they are excited and nervous about something.
She still managed to be a good hostess, though, despite her nerves. By the time the last guest left, they were having so much fun they kept begging for just five more minutes with the Legos. I asked her later which birthday gift she liked best, and she said they were all great.
The two Czech moms and I agreed (separately) to set up playdates in the near future. I've met one of them in the park and for ice cream and such during the summer but we may meet at one of our apartments over the winter. I haven't met with the other mom outside of school before but she is nice, we often chat at school, and the girls really hit it off recently. She said her daughter would like to invite K over to play one afternoon after school. Not bad for a language that (to my knowledge) doesn't have a word for "playdate". :)
So it seems the day was a success. This next Saturday is K's actual birthday, and we will have company from out of town to help us celebrate again. I'm planning to make a cake and we'll give her the rest of her presents (she got two small ones from us on the day of the party).
Assuming we don't convince her by then to skip her birthday and just stay four for another year. Four has been a good age.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Two Years and Ready to Move On
The beginning of this month marks two years that we have been living in Prague again.
The move has been great for our language, because I'm not sure K would have started using actual Slovak sentences if we had stayed in an English environment (she was pretty young at the time, but she could only say individual words in CZ/SK). As it is she now speaks fluent Czech, understands Slovak perfectly and is able to have a normal relationship with her father and grandparents in their native language.
On a language level I'd say the move has been a complete success, because we've also maintained English (so far) without much effort. It's a lot easier having English as a minority language when the children spend more time with me.
There are a few other ways in which living here again has simplified our lives, but in a lot of other ways it is more difficult than it was in UK. When we lived in Prague before, it was as singles and then as a married couple without children. We moved to UK when K was less than 6 months old, so we never really experienced life in Prague with children.
Some of the differences seem kind of superficial (more things to do with children, playgroups, availability of certain services like LoveFilm, better shopping, better customer service), but they kind of add up when you take them as a whole.
And the one that's currently making my life difficult: availability of childcare for under-3s. In UK (and other places) you have the option of nursery (daycare) or childminders (home daycare) for pretty much any age. In the Czech Republic školka (preschool/nursery) starts at 3 and good luck finding a jesle (for younger children) - there are very few.
I don't want to put my children in full-time care, far from it, but a few hours a week for the younger one would give me time to work and time to think. Time that I don't have at present.
Three-year maternity leave is (really) great, but I would so appreciate some systemic support for those of us who can't take it for whatever reason. It's all very well for a person living in their home town to say there should be no need to leave a one year old with anyone but a relative! If I COULD call my mother or sister or mother-in-law, believe me, I WOULD!
Essentially my only option is to hire someone privately for in-home babysitting. I have been resisting this idea (logistic difficulties mainly) but I think the time may be coming unless something changes.
That's not the only thing that's got me feeling tired and worn, but it's one of them.
The Slovak had a quite difficult time adjusting to being back here - reverse culture shock. I can't remember if I blogged about it then, but it lasted quite a while. It was easier for me since as a foreigner, I had already had to get used to life here once, so I knew I could do it again.
He has been wanting to move away again pretty much since we got back, but I thought we just needed to give it time and maybe it would get better. That's why the two-year anniversary feels kind of significant, because now we have given it a chance. And it hasn't really gotten better. Some parts have, of course, but not enough.
One thing is that between being pregnant, having a baby and actually having paid work to do during the day I don't have the time to find and attend a playgroup that will be expensive and on the other side of Prague anyway. If I weren't working and had been less physically tied down for the past two years I might have found us something, but it would have taken more effort than I could give.
Our Prague friends have mostly moved away over the years and while our real friends live in this region (Central Europe), none are in this city. After a while we start looking around and wondering what actually holds us here, and the answers aren't very compelling.
We would really like to convince several of our friends from surrounding countries to pick a place for us to all move together, because that would be awesome. (Seriously, guys, let's make it happen!) Actually, if that place ended up being Prague I think it would make life in Prague start looking a lot more attractive. Isolation is a big part of the problem.
We go through waves of mildly wanting to move and REALLY wanting to move, but we're pretty much both in the same place now, I think. We don't see ourselves here in ten years. We don't really see ourselves here in three years, in fact.
I think that coming back was the right thing to do, because it gave K a strong grasp on Czech that we can build on in future years and it crystallized our thinking on whether we want to live here long-term or not. It would be good if we could hold out a few more years here so that M will have the same strong foundation K has had, but it may or may not work out that way.
I do love this country and there are definite positives to living here, but I can't deny some things are difficult here, and I am kind of ready for something easy. Which really just means a different set of challenges.
But I'd like to take my children to see the lambing. I'd like to take them to a toystore without fearing the staff will shout at them. I'd like some local friends. I'd like to be able to order in. And I could really, really do with a childminder a couple of times a week.
The move has been great for our language, because I'm not sure K would have started using actual Slovak sentences if we had stayed in an English environment (she was pretty young at the time, but she could only say individual words in CZ/SK). As it is she now speaks fluent Czech, understands Slovak perfectly and is able to have a normal relationship with her father and grandparents in their native language.
On a language level I'd say the move has been a complete success, because we've also maintained English (so far) without much effort. It's a lot easier having English as a minority language when the children spend more time with me.
There are a few other ways in which living here again has simplified our lives, but in a lot of other ways it is more difficult than it was in UK. When we lived in Prague before, it was as singles and then as a married couple without children. We moved to UK when K was less than 6 months old, so we never really experienced life in Prague with children.
Some of the differences seem kind of superficial (more things to do with children, playgroups, availability of certain services like LoveFilm, better shopping, better customer service), but they kind of add up when you take them as a whole.
And the one that's currently making my life difficult: availability of childcare for under-3s. In UK (and other places) you have the option of nursery (daycare) or childminders (home daycare) for pretty much any age. In the Czech Republic školka (preschool/nursery) starts at 3 and good luck finding a jesle (for younger children) - there are very few.
I don't want to put my children in full-time care, far from it, but a few hours a week for the younger one would give me time to work and time to think. Time that I don't have at present.
Three-year maternity leave is (really) great, but I would so appreciate some systemic support for those of us who can't take it for whatever reason. It's all very well for a person living in their home town to say there should be no need to leave a one year old with anyone but a relative! If I COULD call my mother or sister or mother-in-law, believe me, I WOULD!
Essentially my only option is to hire someone privately for in-home babysitting. I have been resisting this idea (logistic difficulties mainly) but I think the time may be coming unless something changes.
That's not the only thing that's got me feeling tired and worn, but it's one of them.
The Slovak had a quite difficult time adjusting to being back here - reverse culture shock. I can't remember if I blogged about it then, but it lasted quite a while. It was easier for me since as a foreigner, I had already had to get used to life here once, so I knew I could do it again.
He has been wanting to move away again pretty much since we got back, but I thought we just needed to give it time and maybe it would get better. That's why the two-year anniversary feels kind of significant, because now we have given it a chance. And it hasn't really gotten better. Some parts have, of course, but not enough.
One thing is that between being pregnant, having a baby and actually having paid work to do during the day I don't have the time to find and attend a playgroup that will be expensive and on the other side of Prague anyway. If I weren't working and had been less physically tied down for the past two years I might have found us something, but it would have taken more effort than I could give.
Our Prague friends have mostly moved away over the years and while our real friends live in this region (Central Europe), none are in this city. After a while we start looking around and wondering what actually holds us here, and the answers aren't very compelling.
We would really like to convince several of our friends from surrounding countries to pick a place for us to all move together, because that would be awesome. (Seriously, guys, let's make it happen!) Actually, if that place ended up being Prague I think it would make life in Prague start looking a lot more attractive. Isolation is a big part of the problem.
We go through waves of mildly wanting to move and REALLY wanting to move, but we're pretty much both in the same place now, I think. We don't see ourselves here in ten years. We don't really see ourselves here in three years, in fact.
I think that coming back was the right thing to do, because it gave K a strong grasp on Czech that we can build on in future years and it crystallized our thinking on whether we want to live here long-term or not. It would be good if we could hold out a few more years here so that M will have the same strong foundation K has had, but it may or may not work out that way.
I do love this country and there are definite positives to living here, but I can't deny some things are difficult here, and I am kind of ready for something easy. Which really just means a different set of challenges.
But I'd like to take my children to see the lambing. I'd like to take them to a toystore without fearing the staff will shout at them. I'd like some local friends. I'd like to be able to order in. And I could really, really do with a childminder a couple of times a week.
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Slovak of My Dreams
The Slovak alternately complains about being mentioned and then about not being mentioned on my blog. I forget which it was yesterday, but it came up.
He gives mea really hard time a gentle nudge to write more when I am on a blog break. He has mentioned a few times how I refer to him as "the Slovak" but his only suggestions for more appropriate nicknames are "the Stud" and "Krull the Warrior King". I compromised on "the Slovak of my dreams", usually shortened to "the Slovak"...
He loves reading my blog and other writing, as hinted above. He is my biggest fan.
He was extremely patient and supportive when I was learning Czech. When we got married I didn't speak all that well but he would do "Czech conversations" with me and tell me how great I was doing. Over time, my Czech has improved and his warm-fuzzy comments have decreased in inverse proportion. He now claims I speak crappy Czech any time I make a slight mistake. He does this because, as he says, "you can handle it now". I take this as the compliment it is.
He started keeping a notebook when we met of all the English words I used that he didn't know. I think I've been good for his vocabulary.
He tells me and the children how much he loved us and where to find the necessary paperwork for after he dies, every time he runs a temperature.
He speaks Slovak, English, Czech, Hungarian, French, Russian and Spanish, in decreasing order of fluency. The last two are not very fluent but he would be offended if I left them off.
He will also be offended when he sees how low I ranked his Czech in the fluency list. Look at it this way - his English is JUST THAT GOOD. (And his ř is not)
He never refers to taking care of his own children as "babysitting".
He loves books and history and sometimes says things like this:
"I am the pater familius."
"Pater familias."
"Whatever. Oh you of lesser importance."
"But greater intelligence."
"Yeah, but lesser importance."
And later:
"Do you love me?"
"Surely I am bound to obey you as my pater familias without regard to my personal feelings."
"Good point, but...you also have to love me."
Or this Facebook exchange from when our son was born:
Me: "I've now done my duty as a 14th century wife and given you an heir, my lord husband. Can I have the estates you promised to endow upon me now?"
Him: "For certes I shall endow the estates upon you, as long as I shall receive the dowry promised at the time of our plight troth."
I always refer to my husband as "my lord husband" in private. I also defer to him on all important life decisions.
Well, I have the highest respect for him, at any rate, and he shows his respect for me as well. Marriage can't work without it, man.
He jumped on board wholeheartedly with raising our children bilingually. He held the Slovak standard (as only Slovak speaker in our life) for two and half years in England.
He coped with me being K's favorite parent for quite a while (intense mommy phase when we moved back to Prague) and is now reaping the rewards: she is going through a major Apo phase at the moment. He is eating it up.
He is really smart (I will not say he is smarter than me, I will not do it...) and wickedly funny.
He is always complimentary of my cooking - every time I introduce a new dish: "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that we have been married __ years and you're just now cooking this for me?" Although sometimes it comes out more like this:
him: "Wow, I can't remember the last time -- I mean, this is one of the best meals you've made."
me: "YOU CAN'T REMEMBER the last time I cooked something this good??"
him, backpedaling: "I meant it was delicious!"
He stands up for me to anyone from a stranger on the street to his own mother if necessary.
He talks me down off the ledge when I need it. I do the same for him when it's his turn.
He prides himself on taking good care of his children and hates when people take a knowing look at K's mismatched outfit (when she was two or so; we let her pick out her own clothes from early on) and say, "Ahhh, Daddy must have dressed you today."
He is the best partner and co-parent I can imagine.
He will try to play it cool but secretly love this post to bits.
He gives me
He loves reading my blog and other writing, as hinted above. He is my biggest fan.
He was extremely patient and supportive when I was learning Czech. When we got married I didn't speak all that well but he would do "Czech conversations" with me and tell me how great I was doing. Over time, my Czech has improved and his warm-fuzzy comments have decreased in inverse proportion. He now claims I speak crappy Czech any time I make a slight mistake. He does this because, as he says, "you can handle it now". I take this as the compliment it is.
He started keeping a notebook when we met of all the English words I used that he didn't know. I think I've been good for his vocabulary.
He tells me and the children how much he loved us and where to find the necessary paperwork for after he dies, every time he runs a temperature.
He speaks Slovak, English, Czech, Hungarian, French, Russian and Spanish, in decreasing order of fluency. The last two are not very fluent but he would be offended if I left them off.
He will also be offended when he sees how low I ranked his Czech in the fluency list. Look at it this way - his English is JUST THAT GOOD. (And his ř is not)
He never refers to taking care of his own children as "babysitting".
He loves books and history and sometimes says things like this:
"I am the pater familius."
"Pater familias."
"Whatever. Oh you of lesser importance."
"But greater intelligence."
"Yeah, but lesser importance."
And later:
"Do you love me?"
"Surely I am bound to obey you as my pater familias without regard to my personal feelings."
"Good point, but...you also have to love me."
Or this Facebook exchange from when our son was born:
Me: "I've now done my duty as a 14th century wife and given you an heir, my lord husband. Can I have the estates you promised to endow upon me now?"
Him: "For certes I shall endow the estates upon you, as long as I shall receive the dowry promised at the time of our plight troth."
I always refer to my husband as "my lord husband" in private. I also defer to him on all important life decisions.
Well, I have the highest respect for him, at any rate, and he shows his respect for me as well. Marriage can't work without it, man.
He jumped on board wholeheartedly with raising our children bilingually. He held the Slovak standard (as only Slovak speaker in our life) for two and half years in England.
He coped with me being K's favorite parent for quite a while (intense mommy phase when we moved back to Prague) and is now reaping the rewards: she is going through a major Apo phase at the moment. He is eating it up.
He is really smart (I will not say he is smarter than me, I will not do it...) and wickedly funny.
He is always complimentary of my cooking - every time I introduce a new dish: "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that we have been married __ years and you're just now cooking this for me?" Although sometimes it comes out more like this:
him: "Wow, I can't remember the last time -- I mean, this is one of the best meals you've made."
me: "YOU CAN'T REMEMBER the last time I cooked something this good??"
him, backpedaling: "I meant it was delicious!"
He stands up for me to anyone from a stranger on the street to his own mother if necessary.
He talks me down off the ledge when I need it. I do the same for him when it's his turn.
He prides himself on taking good care of his children and hates when people take a knowing look at K's mismatched outfit (when she was two or so; we let her pick out her own clothes from early on) and say, "Ahhh, Daddy must have dressed you today."
He is the best partner and co-parent I can imagine.
He will try to play it cool but secretly love this post to bits.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Connection Between Babywearing and Multilingualism
Wait for it, it's there!
I'm not a person who likes to draw a lot of attention typically. In the last five years I have learned that pregnant women and/or people with babies get a lot of stares. I choose to believe they are mostly positive (except for those clearly wondering if anyone in the history of pregnancy has ever had a belly as big as yours). People just look over at you, and usually smile a bit, because babies are cute and all.
Having a baby with you is a great way to strike up a conversation with a stranger, whether you want to or not. In my experience, however, there are a few things guaranteed to get you even MORE noticed.
One of them is babywearing, which I discovered when my son was born last year and I didn't use a stroller for the first five months (have been switching between wrap and stroller since then, so we still wrap regularly). I don't know how it is in other places, but in this part of the world babywearing is very much "alternative". There are specialized Czech websites and babywearing groups, but it is not mainstream and based on the reactions of most people I saw, I may have been the first babywearing mama they had ever seen.
I can't count the number of people who came up to me and asked about my wrap, where I got it, how comfortable it is, how does it work, how wonderful for the baby to be so close to me, how they wish they had had something similar with their own children... And of course for every person who actually approached us there were several more who just looked but stayed back. So often I have noticed someone nudge a companion and gesture my direction, or overheard a comment not meant for my ears but clearly referring to my baby and me.
And the thing is, I may not seek to be the center of attention, but I don't mind being different.
I remember wondering one day why it didn't bother me more to be stared at with the wrap, when it dawned on me - I'm already used to being stared at! Not to the same extent, but being out and about with the family often draws some curious glances. For a clue as to why, take a look at our family language diagram on the sidebar, and consider that when we are together ALL those colored lines come to life, often at the same time!
Of course I am hardly the first person speaking a foreign language that people will have seen in their lives, far from it. People speaking a foreign language are a common sight on the streets of Prague. People speaking two or three languages at once, though...that is still worth a second look.
I have often noticed someone paying close attention to our conversation and suddenly realized they were trying to figure us out - what languages we are speaking, who is speaking what language, who is the native speaker and who the foreigner.
Even people who know us have sometimes commented that it's strange to hear a conversation in more than one language. It's not that we switch back and forth much, but if more than two people are involved in the conversation then there is a certain amount of overlap as I make an English addition to the Slovak conversation going on between Apo and K, or Apo does the same in Slovak when K and I are speaking English, then you add in side conversations between parents in either language, and I can imagine that a bystander would be left wondering who's on first. Especially one who understands only on side of the conversation.
And of course there's the inevitable conversation when we first meet someone - what language do you speak with your children? With each other? Bilingual, that's so great, or don't you think it will confuse them... Reactions of course mixed, I choose to focus on the positive. The point is it draws attention, people notice us.
Babywearing and multilingualism are not the only essential things that make our family different, but they are the two most obvious. In both cases I have found that I can filter out any negative feedback and accept the stares, because in the end I don't mind being different if necessary.
I have wondered before if it takes a certain personality type to do something so different from most people, or if experience being different in one way gives us strength to be confident in our decisions in another area as well. In other words, maybe I babywear and raise my children with a minority language because I am that sort of person, or maybe I can withstand the public attention of babywearing because I have experience being different by speaking another language in public with my children.
Either way, that is the connection I see: both are countercultural choices that get you noticed and it takes a certain strength to face that extra attention, I think.
I'm not a person who likes to draw a lot of attention typically. In the last five years I have learned that pregnant women and/or people with babies get a lot of stares. I choose to believe they are mostly positive (except for those clearly wondering if anyone in the history of pregnancy has ever had a belly as big as yours). People just look over at you, and usually smile a bit, because babies are cute and all.
Having a baby with you is a great way to strike up a conversation with a stranger, whether you want to or not. In my experience, however, there are a few things guaranteed to get you even MORE noticed.
One of them is babywearing, which I discovered when my son was born last year and I didn't use a stroller for the first five months (have been switching between wrap and stroller since then, so we still wrap regularly). I don't know how it is in other places, but in this part of the world babywearing is very much "alternative". There are specialized Czech websites and babywearing groups, but it is not mainstream and based on the reactions of most people I saw, I may have been the first babywearing mama they had ever seen.
I can't count the number of people who came up to me and asked about my wrap, where I got it, how comfortable it is, how does it work, how wonderful for the baby to be so close to me, how they wish they had had something similar with their own children... And of course for every person who actually approached us there were several more who just looked but stayed back. So often I have noticed someone nudge a companion and gesture my direction, or overheard a comment not meant for my ears but clearly referring to my baby and me.
And the thing is, I may not seek to be the center of attention, but I don't mind being different.
I remember wondering one day why it didn't bother me more to be stared at with the wrap, when it dawned on me - I'm already used to being stared at! Not to the same extent, but being out and about with the family often draws some curious glances. For a clue as to why, take a look at our family language diagram on the sidebar, and consider that when we are together ALL those colored lines come to life, often at the same time!
Of course I am hardly the first person speaking a foreign language that people will have seen in their lives, far from it. People speaking a foreign language are a common sight on the streets of Prague. People speaking two or three languages at once, though...that is still worth a second look.
I have often noticed someone paying close attention to our conversation and suddenly realized they were trying to figure us out - what languages we are speaking, who is speaking what language, who is the native speaker and who the foreigner.
Even people who know us have sometimes commented that it's strange to hear a conversation in more than one language. It's not that we switch back and forth much, but if more than two people are involved in the conversation then there is a certain amount of overlap as I make an English addition to the Slovak conversation going on between Apo and K, or Apo does the same in Slovak when K and I are speaking English, then you add in side conversations between parents in either language, and I can imagine that a bystander would be left wondering who's on first. Especially one who understands only on side of the conversation.
And of course there's the inevitable conversation when we first meet someone - what language do you speak with your children? With each other? Bilingual, that's so great, or don't you think it will confuse them... Reactions of course mixed, I choose to focus on the positive. The point is it draws attention, people notice us.
Babywearing and multilingualism are not the only essential things that make our family different, but they are the two most obvious. In both cases I have found that I can filter out any negative feedback and accept the stares, because in the end I don't mind being different if necessary.
I have wondered before if it takes a certain personality type to do something so different from most people, or if experience being different in one way gives us strength to be confident in our decisions in another area as well. In other words, maybe I babywear and raise my children with a minority language because I am that sort of person, or maybe I can withstand the public attention of babywearing because I have experience being different by speaking another language in public with my children.
Either way, that is the connection I see: both are countercultural choices that get you noticed and it takes a certain strength to face that extra attention, I think.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I Want to Go There! Just Kidding Edition
So today's post was supposed to be about our long weekend in sunny Venice - our first vacation in two years. Family visits don't count. We do love to travel, so we were all pumped.
Everything was set, bags packed, excitement at a peak, prepped K looking at pictures of Venice and informing her that she already knows one word of Italian: čau/ciao, flying out Friday at noon, when...K woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach bug. Poor child had never actually thrown up in her life (even as a baby, she spit up a total of 3-5 times ever), so I had to explain what was happening and that it is a normal phenomenon. She also wanted to know how to say "throw up" in both Czech and English.
I took her to the doctor early Friday morning but it was pretty clear - no flying for us. The doctor said a three-day bug is going around at the moment and she'd probably be fine by Monday. So we let the airplane take off without us. Sigh.
The Slovak took Baby M out for a walk late Friday morning while I took care of sick K. She was very pathetic - still not convinced she wasn't dying. (On the way to the doctor's earlier I realized she thought we were going to the hospital for in-patient care.) She took a long nap and woke up after noon, when we were waving goodbye to our Venice-bound airplane.
When the plane took off, she was still sick. We definitely couldn't have traveled. And yet, like magic, when the plane landed an hour later K was JUST FINE. Looks like it was a 12 hour bug, just long enough to keep us home. Weep. She spent the rest of the weekend running around perky while the Slovak and I came down with bad colds and tried to pretend we were in Italy.
The bad news is we lost the price of the plane tickets (no changes). The good news is we didn't have to pay for the accommodation, so it could have been a lot worse, right? The other bad news is, obviously, we didn't go to Venice.
And now I suspect we never will! You see, six years ago we also had purchased plane tickets to Venice for the weekend. A week or two before the trip they canceled the flight (the only Prague-Venice flight) so we ended up going to Budapest instead. We've been looking forward to trying again ever since then. Now, though, we're kind of nervous as to what might happen to us next time we try to go. Maybe Venice just doesn't want us!
I think we are going to travel everywhere else in Europe and never, ever see Venice except for in pictures. I can live with that. As it stands now, though...I still really need a vacation. In fact, our bags are still packed. We may still be in denial.
Someone take me somewhere fun!
Everything was set, bags packed, excitement at a peak, prepped K looking at pictures of Venice and informing her that she already knows one word of Italian: čau/ciao, flying out Friday at noon, when...K woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach bug. Poor child had never actually thrown up in her life (even as a baby, she spit up a total of 3-5 times ever), so I had to explain what was happening and that it is a normal phenomenon. She also wanted to know how to say "throw up" in both Czech and English.
I took her to the doctor early Friday morning but it was pretty clear - no flying for us. The doctor said a three-day bug is going around at the moment and she'd probably be fine by Monday. So we let the airplane take off without us. Sigh.
The Slovak took Baby M out for a walk late Friday morning while I took care of sick K. She was very pathetic - still not convinced she wasn't dying. (On the way to the doctor's earlier I realized she thought we were going to the hospital for in-patient care.) She took a long nap and woke up after noon, when we were waving goodbye to our Venice-bound airplane.
When the plane took off, she was still sick. We definitely couldn't have traveled. And yet, like magic, when the plane landed an hour later K was JUST FINE. Looks like it was a 12 hour bug, just long enough to keep us home. Weep. She spent the rest of the weekend running around perky while the Slovak and I came down with bad colds and tried to pretend we were in Italy.
The bad news is we lost the price of the plane tickets (no changes). The good news is we didn't have to pay for the accommodation, so it could have been a lot worse, right? The other bad news is, obviously, we didn't go to Venice.
And now I suspect we never will! You see, six years ago we also had purchased plane tickets to Venice for the weekend. A week or two before the trip they canceled the flight (the only Prague-Venice flight) so we ended up going to Budapest instead. We've been looking forward to trying again ever since then. Now, though, we're kind of nervous as to what might happen to us next time we try to go. Maybe Venice just doesn't want us!
I think we are going to travel everywhere else in Europe and never, ever see Venice except for in pictures. I can live with that. As it stands now, though...I still really need a vacation. In fact, our bags are still packed. We may still be in denial.
Someone take me somewhere fun!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Slovak-American Christmas in Prague
We went totally low-key this year. We stayed home, no visits to or from in-laws, so we just picked a few holidayish things we wanted to do and focused on them.
As always, we had Slovak Christmas on the 24th and American Christmas on the 25th, though we dialed down the cooking on the 25th from a full Christmas dinner to a more modest Christmas brunch. Less time cooking, more time playing with toys!
Earlier in the month we experimented with making pomanders out of clementines and spices, and K enjoyed it so much that I think we'll make it a holiday tradition. We made three separate batches and gave them away as gifts. We also made sausage balls and baked gingerbread twice and I think we'll make one last batch of each for New Year's. We listened to and sang Christmas music and K managed to learn Jingle Bells as her first (English) Christmas carol.
We also went to her preschool Christmas performance where the children sang (Czech) Christmas carols they'd been practicing since mid-November. Since K spent a few weeks singing "sanáčku, panáčku" [not at all the right words] I'm thinking it was a good idea they started early, since this was most of the children's first year to be learning the carols properly!
The baby was pretty much along for the ride this Christmas - as he is for most things. I'm pretty sure K helping to open his presents and stocking won't fly in future years! Also, next year we probably won't be able to wrap up a few toys and clothes we already had for him...he did get a couple of new things though. And K has hardly taken off her purple princess dress since she opened it on Christmas Eve.
A very successful Christmas! And without driving ourselves crazy with overly ambitious plans.
As always, we had Slovak Christmas on the 24th and American Christmas on the 25th, though we dialed down the cooking on the 25th from a full Christmas dinner to a more modest Christmas brunch. Less time cooking, more time playing with toys!
Earlier in the month we experimented with making pomanders out of clementines and spices, and K enjoyed it so much that I think we'll make it a holiday tradition. We made three separate batches and gave them away as gifts. We also made sausage balls and baked gingerbread twice and I think we'll make one last batch of each for New Year's. We listened to and sang Christmas music and K managed to learn Jingle Bells as her first (English) Christmas carol.
We also went to her preschool Christmas performance where the children sang (Czech) Christmas carols they'd been practicing since mid-November. Since K spent a few weeks singing "sanáčku, panáčku" [not at all the right words] I'm thinking it was a good idea they started early, since this was most of the children's first year to be learning the carols properly!
The baby was pretty much along for the ride this Christmas - as he is for most things. I'm pretty sure K helping to open his presents and stocking won't fly in future years! Also, next year we probably won't be able to wrap up a few toys and clothes we already had for him...he did get a couple of new things though. And K has hardly taken off her purple princess dress since she opened it on Christmas Eve.
A very successful Christmas! And without driving ourselves crazy with overly ambitious plans.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Big Sister, Baby Brother
One reason I wanted to have another child is so I could double my multilingual research pool watch and try to foster a sibling relationship up close. Siblings add a whole new dimension and challenge to life - and parenting - that I wouldn't want us to miss out on.
I knew K would love Baby Boy, but I am still caught off guard by the strength of this sibling relationship even before he is born.
She includes him in all our family portraits - sometimes inside me, and sometimes outside. Sometimes more than once.
She daydreams about what they will do together when he is born. Most of her plans are actually realistic, since I've made sure to warn her that babies don't do much but eat, sleep and cry when they're first born. She wants to change his diapers, push his stroller, hold him (all acceptable), and also sleep with him in her bed and nurse him (not very feasible). She also rigged herself a baby wrap from an old scarf and I certainly hope she doesn't expect to carry the actual baby in that...
What surprised me a little more, though, is how she has conversations with the baby - performing both sides of the conversation herself (and sometimes using the results against me). For example, this past week, at bedtime:
"Mommy, please lay down in my bed with me. (persuasively) My bed is reeeeeally comfortable."
"No, sweetie, I have to go back into the living room while you go to bed."
"Because the baby wants to go to the living room?"
"Um, yes."
"(to my belly) Baby, do you want to go to the living room? (high-pitched voice) No, K, I want to stay here with you. (normal voice) See, he wants to stay with me."
So I, of course, did the only thing I could do in the circumstances: I plucked an invisible baby out of my tummy and handed him to K, telling her to take care of her brother. She put him on the pillow next to her and I left the room.
Or yesterday, when K and Apo were on their way to the store and then the zoo, K wanted to take the baby with them. I plucked him out of my tummy again and let him go with her. When they got back from the store, I asked if she still had him, and she held up a plastic bag clenched tightly in her fist, saying, "Yes, he's in here! He had a lot of fun at the store. But now he's too tired to go to the zoo, so he can stay with you." (Probably a good thing, too, if she was keeping him in a closed plastic bag.)
Their interactions are sometimes very sibling-like, too: A few weeks ago I was hugging K so that she was partially pressed up against my stomach. When she moved away, the baby kicked hard, and I told her so: "The baby just kicked, because you were squishing him!" The next day, when she was listing all the wrongs done to her recently (over-tired and annoyed), she said:
"...AND I don't like the baby."
"What did the baby do to you??"
"He kicked me! That not nice!"
"Well, you were squishing him, after all..."
"Hmph."
Sibling rivalry. In utero. Oh my. :)
And then sometimes I have to provide the baby's voice in their conversations:
K: "Good night, Mama."
Me: "Good night, K."
K: "Good night, baby, I love you." (kisses stomach)
Me, squeaky voice: "Good night, K!"
Obviously K doesn't feel that being divided by a few inches of mama's belly is any significant impediment. Of course, their "relationship" is all very theoretical still, since the baby IS still inside (and due in large part to K's active imagination and pretend play), but it is still a bit more intense than I had expected at this stage!
I knew K would love Baby Boy, but I am still caught off guard by the strength of this sibling relationship even before he is born.
She includes him in all our family portraits - sometimes inside me, and sometimes outside. Sometimes more than once.
She daydreams about what they will do together when he is born. Most of her plans are actually realistic, since I've made sure to warn her that babies don't do much but eat, sleep and cry when they're first born. She wants to change his diapers, push his stroller, hold him (all acceptable), and also sleep with him in her bed and nurse him (not very feasible). She also rigged herself a baby wrap from an old scarf and I certainly hope she doesn't expect to carry the actual baby in that...
What surprised me a little more, though, is how she has conversations with the baby - performing both sides of the conversation herself (and sometimes using the results against me). For example, this past week, at bedtime:
"Mommy, please lay down in my bed with me. (persuasively) My bed is reeeeeally comfortable."
"No, sweetie, I have to go back into the living room while you go to bed."
"Because the baby wants to go to the living room?"
"Um, yes."
"(to my belly) Baby, do you want to go to the living room? (high-pitched voice) No, K, I want to stay here with you. (normal voice) See, he wants to stay with me."
So I, of course, did the only thing I could do in the circumstances: I plucked an invisible baby out of my tummy and handed him to K, telling her to take care of her brother. She put him on the pillow next to her and I left the room.
Or yesterday, when K and Apo were on their way to the store and then the zoo, K wanted to take the baby with them. I plucked him out of my tummy again and let him go with her. When they got back from the store, I asked if she still had him, and she held up a plastic bag clenched tightly in her fist, saying, "Yes, he's in here! He had a lot of fun at the store. But now he's too tired to go to the zoo, so he can stay with you." (Probably a good thing, too, if she was keeping him in a closed plastic bag.)
Their interactions are sometimes very sibling-like, too: A few weeks ago I was hugging K so that she was partially pressed up against my stomach. When she moved away, the baby kicked hard, and I told her so: "The baby just kicked, because you were squishing him!" The next day, when she was listing all the wrongs done to her recently (over-tired and annoyed), she said:
"...AND I don't like the baby."
"What did the baby do to you??"
"He kicked me! That not nice!"
"Well, you were squishing him, after all..."
"Hmph."
Sibling rivalry. In utero. Oh my. :)
And then sometimes I have to provide the baby's voice in their conversations:
K: "Good night, Mama."
Me: "Good night, K."
K: "Good night, baby, I love you." (kisses stomach)
Me, squeaky voice: "Good night, K!"
Obviously K doesn't feel that being divided by a few inches of mama's belly is any significant impediment. Of course, their "relationship" is all very theoretical still, since the baby IS still inside (and due in large part to K's active imagination and pretend play), but it is still a bit more intense than I had expected at this stage!
Friday, August 12, 2011
History Hitting Close to Home
Apparently construction on the Berlin Wall began 50 years ago today.
I can't begin to express how grateful I am that it's gone.
Several years ago - a few months after we married, in fact - the Slovak and I took a quick trip to Berlin. We didn't have much time there, but we made it to Checkpoint Charlie. (Right next to which, by the way, was a Czech cultural center called "Czech Point Charlie". I still can't quite believe that...)
We stood on the west side. We stood on the east side. We stood in the middle and hugged. If either of us could do a cartwheel across it, we possibly would have.
I imagined a wall standing between us, keeping each of us from crossing over to the other. If it were still here, I would cross it, if I could. My Slovak is worth it. But we would almost certainly never have met, and we would be worse off for it.
How terribly, terribly glad I am there is no wall between us today.
I can't begin to express how grateful I am that it's gone.
Several years ago - a few months after we married, in fact - the Slovak and I took a quick trip to Berlin. We didn't have much time there, but we made it to Checkpoint Charlie. (Right next to which, by the way, was a Czech cultural center called "Czech Point Charlie". I still can't quite believe that...)
We stood on the west side. We stood on the east side. We stood in the middle and hugged. If either of us could do a cartwheel across it, we possibly would have.
I imagined a wall standing between us, keeping each of us from crossing over to the other. If it were still here, I would cross it, if I could. My Slovak is worth it. But we would almost certainly never have met, and we would be worse off for it.
How terribly, terribly glad I am there is no wall between us today.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Consequences of Multilingual Parenting that Nobody Tells You About
In our family, we have a Mama and an Apo. In fact, in our family we refer to all mothers as Mamas and all fathers as Apos, no matter how other families refer to themselves. Our Apo occasionally refers to me as "Mamka" or "Mami", and I occasionally refer to him as "your father" (usually in the sense of "WHEN IS YOUR FATHER GOING TO __?"). K goes back and forth between "Mama" and "Mommy" (sounds very like Mami) for me, and sticks to Apo for the Slovak.
Incidentally, "Apo" is a Slovakified version of the Hungarian word for daddy, which is what the Slovak calls HIS father (his parents are Apo and Aňu). It is pretty much only used in eastern Slovakia where he is from, so people in Prague and western Slovakia are as baffled upon hearing it as anyone else. The only time it gets instant recognition is from someone from eastern Slovakia who also uses/used it at home... Czechs call their fathers "táta", "tatínek" and variations thereof, and Slovaks typically call their fathers "ocko" and variations thereof.
"Mama", on the other hand, is pretty adaptable. It's "máma" (slight pronunciation difference) in Czech, or more often "maminka", or "mamka" or "mamička" in Slovak. "Mami" fits in either language. Thus K never raises any eyebrows calling me Mama or Mommy wherever we are.
So it took our daughter a while to pick up on the existence of other words to refer to parents. For example, for a long time she didn't know what people meant when they talked about her "daddy", because we never use the word. Eventually, she figured out that "daddy" and "tatínek" are different words for Apo that other people sometimes use, but she never said them herself, or at least not to refer to her father.
Recently that has started to change...
For one thing, K is referring to us sometimes as "moje maminka" and "můj tatínek" or "můj táta" (instead of "můj Apo"), especially when talking to her Slovak grandparents this week. I can't remember if she has called Apo táta to his face or not, but he definitely tries to discourage it, because he is called Apo.
Our last day in the US this year was Father's Day, and I'm pretty sure people were asking K about her "dad" and talking about dads and moms, because later that day or very soon after she said something about "mom and dad". This caught our attention, because of all the possible parental names, K has NEVER said "mom" or "dad". She clearly got it from Outside Influences!
Soon after that, once we were home, she mentioned her "mom and dad" to me again, and I asked,
"Do you mean Mama and Apo?"
"No, MOM and DAD."
"But we're your Mom and Dad."
"No, you're Mommy and Apo!"
"Um, well, who are your Mom and Dad then? Where are they now?"
"Mom is at work and Dad is at home." (points back to her bedroom)
"Can you ask him to come out here?"
K then went back to her bedroom, Dad first refused to come out, then came after all and K pointed to the floor, explaining that Dad is very small. And apparently invisible.
Are you getting this?
MY CHILD HAS IMAGINARY PARENTS.
And it doesn't end there, oh no. An imaginary "tatínek" has also recently made an appearance, clearly differentiated from the real Apo.
That makes five of us so far.
I keep waiting for K to claim her OTHER parents are much nicer, less demanding, or in some other way entirely better than her REGULAR parents. I could handle that. Especially if the other parents would go to work and clean the house for us so we could spend more time goofing off with our kids.
EDIT TO ADD: I totally forgot about "MApo"! When K was learning to talk, for a long time she referred to me as "Mama" and Apo as "MApo". Which made him kind of mad. Like he's just a substandard version of me. Eventually she learned to say Apo and use it for the correct person, but she continued - and continues - to say MApo sometimes for either or both of us. At least occasionally it seems like she's just forgetting or changing her mind mid-word as to what she wants to say.
But recently - on the plane back from US, so the same day that "Mom and Dad" were first mentioned, she showed us a picture she drew. We are her favorite drawing subjects, especially Apo as he is artistically interesting with his short hair, glasses and beard. This one, however, had glasses, a beard and long hair. (Long hair is my only distinguishing characteristic.)
We asked about it, and she confirmed that we were seeing long hair, glasses and a beard. We looked at each other and said "...that must be MApo!"
So I guess that's six parents at last count...
Incidentally, "Apo" is a Slovakified version of the Hungarian word for daddy, which is what the Slovak calls HIS father (his parents are Apo and Aňu). It is pretty much only used in eastern Slovakia where he is from, so people in Prague and western Slovakia are as baffled upon hearing it as anyone else. The only time it gets instant recognition is from someone from eastern Slovakia who also uses/used it at home... Czechs call their fathers "táta", "tatínek" and variations thereof, and Slovaks typically call their fathers "ocko" and variations thereof.
"Mama", on the other hand, is pretty adaptable. It's "máma" (slight pronunciation difference) in Czech, or more often "maminka", or "mamka" or "mamička" in Slovak. "Mami" fits in either language. Thus K never raises any eyebrows calling me Mama or Mommy wherever we are.
So it took our daughter a while to pick up on the existence of other words to refer to parents. For example, for a long time she didn't know what people meant when they talked about her "daddy", because we never use the word. Eventually, she figured out that "daddy" and "tatínek" are different words for Apo that other people sometimes use, but she never said them herself, or at least not to refer to her father.
Recently that has started to change...
For one thing, K is referring to us sometimes as "moje maminka" and "můj tatínek" or "můj táta" (instead of "můj Apo"), especially when talking to her Slovak grandparents this week. I can't remember if she has called Apo táta to his face or not, but he definitely tries to discourage it, because he is called Apo.
Our last day in the US this year was Father's Day, and I'm pretty sure people were asking K about her "dad" and talking about dads and moms, because later that day or very soon after she said something about "mom and dad". This caught our attention, because of all the possible parental names, K has NEVER said "mom" or "dad". She clearly got it from Outside Influences!
Soon after that, once we were home, she mentioned her "mom and dad" to me again, and I asked,
"Do you mean Mama and Apo?"
"No, MOM and DAD."
"But we're your Mom and Dad."
"No, you're Mommy and Apo!"
"Um, well, who are your Mom and Dad then? Where are they now?"
"Mom is at work and Dad is at home." (points back to her bedroom)
"Can you ask him to come out here?"
K then went back to her bedroom, Dad first refused to come out, then came after all and K pointed to the floor, explaining that Dad is very small. And apparently invisible.
Are you getting this?
MY CHILD HAS IMAGINARY PARENTS.
And it doesn't end there, oh no. An imaginary "tatínek" has also recently made an appearance, clearly differentiated from the real Apo.
That makes five of us so far.
I keep waiting for K to claim her OTHER parents are much nicer, less demanding, or in some other way entirely better than her REGULAR parents. I could handle that. Especially if the other parents would go to work and clean the house for us so we could spend more time goofing off with our kids.
EDIT TO ADD: I totally forgot about "MApo"! When K was learning to talk, for a long time she referred to me as "Mama" and Apo as "MApo". Which made him kind of mad. Like he's just a substandard version of me. Eventually she learned to say Apo and use it for the correct person, but she continued - and continues - to say MApo sometimes for either or both of us. At least occasionally it seems like she's just forgetting or changing her mind mid-word as to what she wants to say.
But recently - on the plane back from US, so the same day that "Mom and Dad" were first mentioned, she showed us a picture she drew. We are her favorite drawing subjects, especially Apo as he is artistically interesting with his short hair, glasses and beard. This one, however, had glasses, a beard and long hair. (Long hair is my only distinguishing characteristic.)
We asked about it, and she confirmed that we were seeing long hair, glasses and a beard. We looked at each other and said "...that must be MApo!"
So I guess that's six parents at last count...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Liminal
We're in a year of transitions.
It's been about nine months since our move back to Prague, and we're all pretty much settled but not quite settled yet.
Our apartment is definitely still in transition as we work to reduce, simplify, organize, carve out some space for a very small new family member.
And I think 3 is such a year of balancing as well, so grown up compared to 1 or 2, and so small compared to the first graders K so fervently wants to join at the big school. One minute confident in her assertion that she's a big girl and CAN do lots of things, the next cuddled in my lap insisting "But I'm not a big girl any more!" and that she can't POSSIBLY do other things. K still has no problem claiming to be a baby when she's not feeling up to facing the big girl world.
K is becoming a Czech speaker, but she's not quite there yet. She's becoming multilingual, but still has some ground to travel.
She's thriving in preschool, learning and growing in knowledge - in English as well as Czech, which I wonder how she manages - all the time.
She's becoming a big sister, but she's not quite there yet either.
The baby is becoming a baby, the Slovak and I are about to expand the family by 25% and double our parenting responsibility...
Pretty much, this year is going to end in a very different place than it started. More so than most years.
It's been about nine months since our move back to Prague, and we're all pretty much settled but not quite settled yet.
Our apartment is definitely still in transition as we work to reduce, simplify, organize, carve out some space for a very small new family member.
And I think 3 is such a year of balancing as well, so grown up compared to 1 or 2, and so small compared to the first graders K so fervently wants to join at the big school. One minute confident in her assertion that she's a big girl and CAN do lots of things, the next cuddled in my lap insisting "But I'm not a big girl any more!" and that she can't POSSIBLY do other things. K still has no problem claiming to be a baby when she's not feeling up to facing the big girl world.
K is becoming a Czech speaker, but she's not quite there yet. She's becoming multilingual, but still has some ground to travel.
She's thriving in preschool, learning and growing in knowledge - in English as well as Czech, which I wonder how she manages - all the time.
She's becoming a big sister, but she's not quite there yet either.
The baby is becoming a baby, the Slovak and I are about to expand the family by 25% and double our parenting responsibility...
Pretty much, this year is going to end in a very different place than it started. More so than most years.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A Word from the Sickroom
2011 has really knocked me for a loop so far. We started off with ear infections, soon moved to (consecutively) flu, sinus infection, flu, bronchitis... K is home from school this week and next, so we're spending our days curled up on the couch watching Buffy Season 3. Also just started Doctor Who Season 3. (What? Good parents let their preschoolers watch scifi. Seriously.)
Then factor in keeping relatively busy on the translating front and I find my blogging mojo seriously flagging. I am good at multi-tasking on the micro level but seem to have trouble devoting my attention to multiple endeavors at once. Currently child-rearing and working have been winning the race for my attention, I guess.
I have so many blog posts half-written in my head that I haven't been able to write out or publish. I don't seem to be the only one who's gone quiet in the beginning of 2011, though. Seems like lots of us are MIA for one reason or another.
I had been waiting until I felt better to try to write something here, but it seems that is an unreasonable goal for this winter! I am settling for "somewhat less pathetic than I was" as a more attainable level. Also factoring into this is the second "flu" in the list above, which turned out not to be flu at all. On which more later.
K loves her new school, by the way, and so do I. She has a new best friend and is using more and more Czech at school and at home both. I went to pick her up one day about three weeks in and the teacher said, "She talks now!!!" She's doing really well - just have to get rid of this sickness so she can go back again. Poor sweetie.
Then factor in keeping relatively busy on the translating front and I find my blogging mojo seriously flagging. I am good at multi-tasking on the micro level but seem to have trouble devoting my attention to multiple endeavors at once. Currently child-rearing and working have been winning the race for my attention, I guess.
I have so many blog posts half-written in my head that I haven't been able to write out or publish. I don't seem to be the only one who's gone quiet in the beginning of 2011, though. Seems like lots of us are MIA for one reason or another.
I had been waiting until I felt better to try to write something here, but it seems that is an unreasonable goal for this winter! I am settling for "somewhat less pathetic than I was" as a more attainable level. Also factoring into this is the second "flu" in the list above, which turned out not to be flu at all. On which more later.
K loves her new school, by the way, and so do I. She has a new best friend and is using more and more Czech at school and at home both. I went to pick her up one day about three weeks in and the teacher said, "She talks now!!!" She's doing really well - just have to get rid of this sickness so she can go back again. Poor sweetie.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I have a blog?
Oh. Hello! Happy New Year!
My husband has been nudging me since my last post to update again, why haven't you updated yet, will you just write something already, ARE YOU EVER GOING TO WRITE AGAIN? Since between my last post and today is the number of days past her due date that Baby K was born, I think his impatience and incredulity lacks a certain oomph, if you know what I mean.
We spent a week in Slovakia with Babka and Dedo, which was basically a repeat of our previous visits there, plus Christmas food. And a ridiculous number of Christmas presents.
Then the day after we got back K started complaining of pain in her ear. In the morning, she cheerfully announced, "Mama, my ear hurts! I need to go to the doctor!" By lunchtime she was curled on the couch, saying weakly, "Mama...my ear hurts...I need to go to the doctor..." So we went to the doctor and spent a week battling the almost-an-ear-infection that was a lot like an ear infection but apparently caused by allergies. Either way, it involved temperatures, four kinds of drops and fever medicine. K still loves doctors but now hates medicine. Especially drops.
I do, too. *sigh*
Anyway, between one thing and another - including starting her new school this week - I've been distracted lately. More on school later, I imagine.
Fortunately I wasn't too distracted to notice that Ready For Ten, a parenting website, included me in their list of 50 favorite bloggers of 2010. I'm skulking in the back, in the W's. Thanks, guys!
I have also just updated my About Me, which still said we're located in UK. Oops. I'm also going to get around to the Family Language Diagram at some point, because it's out of date, too.
My husband has been nudging me since my last post to update again, why haven't you updated yet, will you just write something already, ARE YOU EVER GOING TO WRITE AGAIN? Since between my last post and today is the number of days past her due date that Baby K was born, I think his impatience and incredulity lacks a certain oomph, if you know what I mean.
We spent a week in Slovakia with Babka and Dedo, which was basically a repeat of our previous visits there, plus Christmas food. And a ridiculous number of Christmas presents.
Then the day after we got back K started complaining of pain in her ear. In the morning, she cheerfully announced, "Mama, my ear hurts! I need to go to the doctor!" By lunchtime she was curled on the couch, saying weakly, "Mama...my ear hurts...I need to go to the doctor..." So we went to the doctor and spent a week battling the almost-an-ear-infection that was a lot like an ear infection but apparently caused by allergies. Either way, it involved temperatures, four kinds of drops and fever medicine. K still loves doctors but now hates medicine. Especially drops.
I do, too. *sigh*
Anyway, between one thing and another - including starting her new school this week - I've been distracted lately. More on school later, I imagine.
Fortunately I wasn't too distracted to notice that Ready For Ten, a parenting website, included me in their list of 50 favorite bloggers of 2010. I'm skulking in the back, in the W's. Thanks, guys!
I have also just updated my About Me, which still said we're located in UK. Oops. I'm also going to get around to the Family Language Diagram at some point, because it's out of date, too.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Modlitba pro Melissu
Twenty one years ago today, students demonstrating on Národní Třída in Prague provided the final push that toppled the Socialist regime in Czechoslovakia. It was neither the first nor the last in a long chain of events leading to the collapse of Communism in Czechoslovakia, but November 17th is the date that went down in history.
This day is my own personal Thanksgiving. I know the American Thanksgiving is coming next week, but my thoughts turn to thankfulness every year on the 17th. Thank you to the students, thank you to the dissidents, thank you to the ordinary people who came out in so many thousands in the days and weeks following November 17, 1989. Thank you for seizing the moment for change. Thank you for having the courage to stand up for what was right. Thank you for surviving 20 years of occupation and 40 years of the workers' paradise with your Czech subversive spirit intact.
Thank you for a world in which we whiz by the border on the highway rather than being searched or even shot for daring to cross. Thank you for opening the way for a girl from the West to meet a boy from the East and stay with him. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to live where we choose, how we choose, with whom we choose.
I didn't know it then, but the students on November 17, 1989 were demonstrating for me, too. My life was set in motion that day. Whatever happens in the future, let peace remain with this country.
Ať mír dál zůstává s touto krajinou
This day is my own personal Thanksgiving. I know the American Thanksgiving is coming next week, but my thoughts turn to thankfulness every year on the 17th. Thank you to the students, thank you to the dissidents, thank you to the ordinary people who came out in so many thousands in the days and weeks following November 17, 1989. Thank you for seizing the moment for change. Thank you for having the courage to stand up for what was right. Thank you for surviving 20 years of occupation and 40 years of the workers' paradise with your Czech subversive spirit intact.
Thank you for a world in which we whiz by the border on the highway rather than being searched or even shot for daring to cross. Thank you for opening the way for a girl from the West to meet a boy from the East and stay with him. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to live where we choose, how we choose, with whom we choose.
I didn't know it then, but the students on November 17, 1989 were demonstrating for me, too. My life was set in motion that day. Whatever happens in the future, let peace remain with this country.
Ať mír dál zůstává s touto krajinou
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Cross-cultural Halloween
This was our first Halloween (post-child) that we haven't spent visiting family in USA.
The first year our 11 month old went trick-or-treating in her grandmother's neighborhood dressed as a monkey. This was the remnants of an idea I had where the Slovak would dress up as a pirate and the baby would sit on his shoulder dressed as a parrot or, in Pirates of the Caribbean style, a monkey.
As it turned out I had my work cut out for me just convincing him to go out with us trick or treating, much less dress up himself. It was an uphill battle, but I like to think my rhetoric won the day:
Slovak: There is no way my child is putting on some freakish outfit and going around to strangers' houses.
Me: It's just Halloween; we did it when we were kids and it was fun.
Slovak: It's a bizarre American custom that I'm having no part of.
Me: But you love all the other American customs. You're more American than me sometimes. Why declare war this one?
Slovak: Yes, well, this is one step too far.
Me: How exactly is this different from Mikuláš? People dress up in freakish outfits and you get candy.
Slovak: That's different! Mikuláš is a TOTALLY NORMAL thing to do. Halloween is not normal.
(He grudgingly agrees to walk with us and observe, if not participate. We come back after one block and examine our haul.)
Slovak: Um, Halloween is awesome. Look at this candy!!!
---
OK, maybe not a victory for my persuasive skills...but chocolate speaks for itself.
The next year, we all dressed up! At almost two, K already knew about pirates (is still very into pirates, in fact), so we dressed up as a family of pirates. The Slovak put up a good show of not intending to dress up for several months in advance, but kept coming up with suggestions for how to make his pirate costume. I read between the lines and decided he didn't mind too much. When his costume got compliments at all the houses we went to (he looked very rakish and pirately) he perked up even more.
Sadly, the night ended early when K got excited (got into the spirit after a few houses), took off running and fell flat into a mud hole she couldn't see in the dark. It was an interesting addition to the costume, but we calmed her down and took her home. We were all jet-lagging anyway, since we had flown from UK the day before. Had to wake K up to get her ready in the first place!
---
This year, at almost three, K and her Apo dressed as Charlie and Lola. He wore a baseball shirt with CHARLIE written on the front (internet design your own shirt shop!) and she wore an outfit like the ones Lola often wears and put butterfly hairclips in her hair. A little girl dressing up as another little girl doesn't have far to go, costume-wise.
We were concerned that we wouldn't find any Halloween parties or trick-or-treating events, since it obviously isn't celebrated in this country (see the Slovak's distrustful attitude above), but I hoped that some expat group would have planned something. In the end some friends tipped us off that in a certain neighborhood on the outskirts of Prague, mostly populated by foreigners, they have trick-or-treating every year!
It was the most surreal experience. The neighborhood is new, so it was prefabricated (but huge) houses laid out like an American suburb. Hundreds of trick-or-treaters dressed up in a wide array of costumes. Every third house decorated for Halloween, some people sitting outside their houses, dressed up and giving out candy. It was like being instantly transported to America, except...I heard Hebrew, French, Spanish, German and English at least. English as a native language and English as a foreign language. Oh, and even some Czech. Prompting the following exchange at a Czech house:
Me and K: Dobrý večer, trick or treat! (good evening)
Czech lady: Dobrý večer, Happy Halloween!
Me and K: Děkujeme, na shledanou! (Thank you, bye!)
Czech lady: Na shledanou! (Bye!)
Now there's a conversation I never thought I'd have.
(Another conversation I never thought I'd have: serious consultation with husband re spelling of na shledanou. Space or no space? Neither of us was sure! Not because we can't write, but because you never write that word down: you just say it! I am fairly sure that some people write it all together but that a space is, in fact, correct.)
K had a fun time trick-or-treating, though she had a hard time with the idea of dressing up as someone else. Kept telling me, "I not Lola! I K! Apo not Charlie! He's Apo!" She also likes to say things like, "I not cute, I K!" "I not naughty, I K!" I'm thinking she has a very strong sense of self.
Happy late Halloween!
The first year our 11 month old went trick-or-treating in her grandmother's neighborhood dressed as a monkey. This was the remnants of an idea I had where the Slovak would dress up as a pirate and the baby would sit on his shoulder dressed as a parrot or, in Pirates of the Caribbean style, a monkey.
As it turned out I had my work cut out for me just convincing him to go out with us trick or treating, much less dress up himself. It was an uphill battle, but I like to think my rhetoric won the day:
Slovak: There is no way my child is putting on some freakish outfit and going around to strangers' houses.
Me: It's just Halloween; we did it when we were kids and it was fun.
Slovak: It's a bizarre American custom that I'm having no part of.
Me: But you love all the other American customs. You're more American than me sometimes. Why declare war this one?
Slovak: Yes, well, this is one step too far.
Me: How exactly is this different from Mikuláš? People dress up in freakish outfits and you get candy.
Slovak: That's different! Mikuláš is a TOTALLY NORMAL thing to do. Halloween is not normal.
(He grudgingly agrees to walk with us and observe, if not participate. We come back after one block and examine our haul.)
Slovak: Um, Halloween is awesome. Look at this candy!!!
---
OK, maybe not a victory for my persuasive skills...but chocolate speaks for itself.
The next year, we all dressed up! At almost two, K already knew about pirates (is still very into pirates, in fact), so we dressed up as a family of pirates. The Slovak put up a good show of not intending to dress up for several months in advance, but kept coming up with suggestions for how to make his pirate costume. I read between the lines and decided he didn't mind too much. When his costume got compliments at all the houses we went to (he looked very rakish and pirately) he perked up even more.
Sadly, the night ended early when K got excited (got into the spirit after a few houses), took off running and fell flat into a mud hole she couldn't see in the dark. It was an interesting addition to the costume, but we calmed her down and took her home. We were all jet-lagging anyway, since we had flown from UK the day before. Had to wake K up to get her ready in the first place!
---
This year, at almost three, K and her Apo dressed as Charlie and Lola. He wore a baseball shirt with CHARLIE written on the front (internet design your own shirt shop!) and she wore an outfit like the ones Lola often wears and put butterfly hairclips in her hair. A little girl dressing up as another little girl doesn't have far to go, costume-wise.
We were concerned that we wouldn't find any Halloween parties or trick-or-treating events, since it obviously isn't celebrated in this country (see the Slovak's distrustful attitude above), but I hoped that some expat group would have planned something. In the end some friends tipped us off that in a certain neighborhood on the outskirts of Prague, mostly populated by foreigners, they have trick-or-treating every year!
It was the most surreal experience. The neighborhood is new, so it was prefabricated (but huge) houses laid out like an American suburb. Hundreds of trick-or-treaters dressed up in a wide array of costumes. Every third house decorated for Halloween, some people sitting outside their houses, dressed up and giving out candy. It was like being instantly transported to America, except...I heard Hebrew, French, Spanish, German and English at least. English as a native language and English as a foreign language. Oh, and even some Czech. Prompting the following exchange at a Czech house:
Me and K: Dobrý večer, trick or treat! (good evening)
Czech lady: Dobrý večer, Happy Halloween!
Me and K: Děkujeme, na shledanou! (Thank you, bye!)
Czech lady: Na shledanou! (Bye!)
Now there's a conversation I never thought I'd have.
(Another conversation I never thought I'd have: serious consultation with husband re spelling of na shledanou. Space or no space? Neither of us was sure! Not because we can't write, but because you never write that word down: you just say it! I am fairly sure that some people write it all together but that a space is, in fact, correct.)
K had a fun time trick-or-treating, though she had a hard time with the idea of dressing up as someone else. Kept telling me, "I not Lola! I K! Apo not Charlie! He's Apo!" She also likes to say things like, "I not cute, I K!" "I not naughty, I K!" I'm thinking she has a very strong sense of self.
Happy late Halloween!
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