tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post2074063415323325774..comments2023-04-05T13:37:12.208+02:00Comments on Where going havo?: Grandparents and the Cost of BilingualismMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03606614582290926158noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-39242742968666486342010-06-12T01:07:00.150+02:002010-06-12T01:07:00.150+02:00Melissa, you express this beautifully. Since my h...Melissa, you express this beautifully. Since my husband and I are both Americans, I had never thought about this issue from your perspective. Thanks for sharing.<br /><br />Lauren, your bookstore anecdote makes me sad!Sarah @ Baby Bilingualhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13907207816628137938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-62715636344427734832010-06-05T23:39:09.950+02:002010-06-05T23:39:09.950+02:00Thanks all for the kind comments. :)
Lauren - I&#...Thanks all for the kind comments. :)<br /><br />Lauren - I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive. I try to remind myself of all the reasons it is hard for them, but it is still hard to avoid feeling hurt or irritated at certain comments, isn't it? Hard not to get defensive. I guess it must help to focus on the part where they love him and think he's a genius. :) The English books as a gift and German books ignored is exactly the sort of thing I can see my MIL doing. She wouldn't mean it BADLY, but there it is.<br /><br />I think people give us a free pass because we're from two different languages already, so any question of why are we doing this is easily answered with, "My wife is American/My husband is Slovak", and the person instantly agrees that of course we have to teach our kids both languages. I bet it is harder to avoid the criticism/lack of understanding if you don't have the family background making multilingualism "necessary". Do you think that is so?<br /><br />I can imagine my family freaking right out if I announced I wanted to speak Czech to my baby, living in America, no Czech daddy. I'm sure they would think it was really weird. Not that that would STOP me, mind...<br /><br />Anyway, thanks for the comment and happy birthday to hobo boy *grin*Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03606614582290926158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-26086000680835099972010-06-05T07:34:06.599+02:002010-06-05T07:34:06.599+02:00Love this post! I'm trying to raise my son bil...Love this post! I'm trying to raise my son bilingually as a non-native speaker coming from monolingual parents on both sides, and my husband is monolingual as well. My husband has been supportive from the first, but both my families have not understood at all <i>why</i> I would want to do this, what real benefit it serves to understand a second language and culture. I can't really <i>make</i> them understand if they don't! We've already gotten hurt comments like, "What's he saying? I can't understand it," when really, his German is much more sporadic than his English, and he's old enough (3 tomorrow) that they could ask <i>him</i> to translate.<br /><br />And I remember being very disappointed when I was making out our baby registry and put a bunch of German children's books on there and they were all steadfastly ignored, or when I went to a bookstore last year with my mother and we got an armful of children's books – she paid for the English ones as a gift and left me to pay for the German. It's not a huge deal, but it does show that they don't really get it, and that they don't really support it. Beyond thinking their grandson's now a genius, of course! They do that. :)Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-46304780104755692752010-06-04T11:22:23.420+02:002010-06-04T11:22:23.420+02:00That was a really thought provoking and interestin...That was a really thought provoking and interesting post.<br /><br />I'm off now to mull over some aspects that so far had not occurred to me. In a mix of English and Italian ( :TEFL Ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13660756490115614438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-80481992346777931602010-06-02T22:14:35.596+02:002010-06-02T22:14:35.596+02:00Well put, thanks for the posting!Well put, thanks for the posting!BabalDadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12462472771197361179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-64146316555194070512010-05-29T02:25:32.164+02:002010-05-29T02:25:32.164+02:00graeco-celt - thanks for stopping by, please stick...graeco-celt - thanks for stopping by, please stick around! I agree that linguistic and social engineering experiments are not enough reason to have a child...but if you're having one ANYWAY...then it's a great opportunity for an experiment or two!<br /><br />TongueTwister - I know what you mean. This is not exactly a logical or a quantifiable topic, as no emotional topic is. The knowledge that our lives are not for our parents is what gives me the strength to walk away from them after every visit, even though I know it gets harder for them every time. That is just the reality of living far from your family.<br /><br />The advantages to our multilingual, multicultural lifestyle are certainly great on every level, and I would not suggest limiting myself (where I live, who I love) by any means. But I also think it's fair to acknowledge that my decisions affect those around me, albeit indirectly, and that it isn't all sunshine and roses for everyone. Mostly sunshine and roses, yes. But not all.<br /><br />Thanks for your thoughtful comment!<br /><br />mMelissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03606614582290926158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-68573604042586704652010-05-29T01:45:24.645+02:002010-05-29T01:45:24.645+02:00But ultimately your lives and those of your childr...But ultimately your lives and those of your children are not for your parents. Your parents have lived their lives with circumstances and choices which shouldn't leave you feeling guilty or apologetic. Yes, your children will have 2 languages, 2 cultures and a richer experience for it - it is their advantage, not their grandparents' disadvantage.TongueTwisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398303259199597281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-8644442684870905232010-05-27T22:04:37.846+02:002010-05-27T22:04:37.846+02:00Hi,
Just popped over here from the 'xcultura...Hi, <br /><br />Just popped over here from the 'xculturalfamily' community on Livejournal.<br /><br />I made the decision not to have children a number of years ago but this blog reminds me of one of the resaons it could have been nice!<br />(I decided, in the end, that linguistic and social theory testing was not sufficient reason to have a child, especially when you love kids but are not parent material!)<br /><br />I'm really, really enjoying reading your blog, though, as I'm a linguaphile, in addition to having moved to and married into a family from another culture.<br /><br />Please keep posting!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-1990633107940304172010-05-26T21:59:22.893+02:002010-05-26T21:59:22.893+02:00Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who...Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks along these lines occasionally.<br /><br />My husband and I have also definitely become accustomed to not quite belonging in any country. I think it's a good thing, though - keeps us from being complacent. Makes us awesome. It's certainly a unique perspective. And it brings us in contact with some amazing people in similar circumstances!<br /><br />It does come with the occasional cost, though.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03606614582290926158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3522551177958690642.post-73872659462624719102010-05-26T16:15:09.676+02:002010-05-26T16:15:09.676+02:00Lovely, lovely! I am so happy to have found your ...Lovely, lovely! I am so happy to have found your blog. This post is so very touching and as you know, I can relate so very well. I have come to the conclusion that my husband and I will never feel that sense of 100 percent belonging that I remember from my monolingual and monocultural childhood. Course, maybe we all grow out of it along the way? Either way, lovely post and you reminded me to get my act together to find out more about the Blogging Carnival! :-) Your bilingual cohort at Multilingual Living, CoreyUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13267632419531362517noreply@blogger.com